Is it really necessary for your partner to be your best friend, or is it just a common opinion in society?
“I married my best friend” is a common expression among newlyweds on social media.
It gives off this notion that the best relationships are the ones in which the lovers are also best friends.
But does everyone agree with this perspective? Are the best relationships truly formed with partners who are both lovers and friends?
To sate this curiosity and gather genuine opinions from the public, we spoke to 10 people asking them this question, “Does your partner have to be your best friend?”
Here’s how they responded.
Dinah
I don’t believe it’s necessary for your partner to be your best friend. It’s not a must and depends on the nature of the relationship you both have.
You can have a close relationship with your partner, share everything, and do things together, but still have someone else in your corner whom you feel comfortable talking to when things go wrong with your partner.
For me, having a best friend outside of the relationship doesn’t diminish the love, communication, and connection I have with my boyfriend.
The only potential issue I see is when a girl has a boy as her best friend or vice versa. Outside of that, it’s not really a problem. I can have my female best friend and still share a great bond with my boyfriend.
There may be certain things I feel more comfortable discussing with my best friend rather than my boyfriend, but it doesn’t mean our relationship isn’t good. It all depends on the two individuals and what they want in their relationship.
In conclusion, while it may work for some couples to have their partner as their best friend, it’s not a must for me. I value having my best friend and my boyfriend separately, and it doesn’t affect the quality of our relationship.
Jojo
So… I’m in what I’ll call a situation-ship, and as much as I’d love for my partner to be my best friend, it’s just not happening, and it honestly hurts.
I have a friend with someone that I’m not in a romantic relationship with and even my current partner and I are struggling to maintain the love in our relationship.
I value the spontaneity that comes with loving relationships, as well as the intentionality and communication that are so important to me and that I crave so much in my partner.
I’m willing to do everything and anything to see my partner become my best friend, but it’s been difficult.
Sadly, not everything we want, we get. As much as I hate to say this, if my relationship were to end today, I wouldn’t be sad, because we were only lovers and not best friends.
The role of a best friend in a romantic partner cannot be over-emphasised. If not with my partner, then with whom can I share all my experiences? How do I embark on adventures alone, excluding the one my heart yearns for?
How do I smile and gossip with others, knowing I can’t do that with my partner? It makes me question why we are even together.
If I can’t have my partner as my best friend, then I don’t want any partner at all. Selah👌
Joffery
Honestly, I don’t believe that your partner has to be your best friend. There are so many different things that make a best friend, and just because you’re close with your partner doesn’t necessarily mean you have everything in common that makes a best friend.
Of course, you can still be very close and do everything that partners do, but it’s totally normal and acceptable to have another best friend who is usually of the same gender.
But if your partner happens to be your best friend, then that’s just a lucky coincidence.
At the end of the day, guys and girls are different, and just because you love and care for your partner doesn’t mean they have to be your best friend. It’s not even necessary, and you can still have a great relationship without it.
Taye
I believe that both people should be very good friends. There should have been a build-up of friendship before diving into a romantic relationship, you know.
Before becoming best friends, I think there should be room for vulnerability and understanding different perspectives of each other in various circumstances, which helps to know how those people respond in neutral situations.
I think it’s better that way. I don’t believe that people have to be best friends in a relationship.
You can be the best of friends or good friends, but not necessarily best friends. Because, you know, there are things that I can tell my guy friends, my best friends, that if I tell my partner, it may result in World War 3.
She may not be able to see it the way my guy friends will see it, and she may not be as forgiving, no matter how much she loves you or whatever.
My guy, my best friend, can be more understanding in such situations, and I think it’s just best that way. As long as you guys are good friends, that’s fine.
Hadassah
Your partner is your partner. Can they be your best friend? YES, and in fact, they already are. They know your secrets, troubles, and things you couldn’t even share with anyone else, as well as things that you want to share. Friendship is the most important thing in a relationship because they are not just your life partner, but also your confidant.
It’s very important because this kind of connection goes beyond just being romantic partners; it forms the foundation of a deep and meaningful bond in a relationship.
Demola
My best friend is my favourite person because we share many things in common and agree on a lot, which naturally makes us compatible.
Starting a relationship with my best friend feels safer because she already has my trust, and trust is a significant factor in any successful relationship.
Of course, as we progress into a romantic relationship, things might get more complicated, but I have confidence that we’ll be able to work through any challenges that come our way.
Having a strong foundation of friendship with my partner is invaluable. It brings us closer together, and our shared trust and understanding create a deep connection that makes our relationship special. I truly believe that being best friends with your partner can lead to a more meaningful and lasting bond.
Ayo
In my opinion, it’s not necessary for my partner to be my best friend, but it can be beneficial to both of us.
A relationship involves many things that you would have with a best friend, and having a partner who is also your best friend can help sustain the relationship because you both share everything.
Princess
Personally, I consider my partner to be my best friend. We chat a lot on WhatsApp, and he’s basically the only one I communicate with, except for a few necessary messages I have to reply to.
It all comes down to the nature of your partner. If you have a partner who takes something you confide in them and later uses it against you when you make a mistake, that kind of person cannot truly be a best friend.
It becomes emotionally draining because anything you share with them will be turned against you.
To me, a best friend is someone you can always rely on, someone you can call at any time, no matter the situation. So, in a nutshell, I strongly believe having a partner who is also your best friend is a must.
Monalisa
You can’t do life with someone who isn’t your best friend. You should be able to do and say everything to and with your partner!
I mean this is who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with so why would you want another best friend?
This person would be the father or mother of your kids. If you’re not best friends, you wouldn’t survive the storms of life because sometimes love isn’t enough.
That’s where friendship comes in. It’s easier to tell your friend when they’ve made you uncomfortable or unhappy. So yes, your partner should be your bestie.
Liv
I think it’s cool for your partner to be your best friend because it enables you guys to be open and honest with each other. There are no secrets, and nobody is trying to be perfect.
It makes you feel comfortable around your partner, and you can openly share anything without being afraid of being misunderstood.
I also believe that it’s not a must for your partner to be your best friend. Every couple is different, and what works for one may not work for another.
The most important thing is to have a strong and trusting connection with your partner, whether they are your best friend or not.
