File photo of a worried woman
Dear GhanaWeb,
I come from a family where there is virtually no man. Every member of our lineage is a woman, except for the husbands we marry from outside our lineage. For generations, all the male children born into my mother’s family side, from my great-grandfather’s time have never lived past the age of ten.
In our family, the birth of a baby boy is not celebrated with pure joy. Instead, it brings fear and anxiety, because history has shown us that our male children do not survive beyond childhood.
We do not share this secret with the men we marry because we fear they may refuse to marry us if they know. Among my aunties, cousins, siblings and extended relatives, there are no surviving male children. Some were born, but none lived long enough to grow into men. I personally lost two brothers more than twenty years ago.
Strangely, the men we marry live long and healthy lives. However, when we have male children with them, those boys do not survive. Over time, many women in my family have chosen not to have children at all. Some who had only sons lost them. Others, out of fear, have terminated pregnancies when scans revealed they were carrying boys.
As I write this, there are only two young boys left in our entire family. My two-year-old son and my aunt’s grandson, who is three. And deep down, everyone fears they may not live past ten years old.
The painful part is that we are not a struggling family. The women in my family are accomplished and successful. Those who are married are married to respectable and prominent men. We are blessed in many ways, except when it comes to raising male children.
Over the years, we have sought solutions everywhere. We have prayed in churches, visited mosques, and even consulted shrines. Some women in our family have dedicated their lives to serving God in hopes of breaking what seems like a curse. One aunt travelled to five different countries seeking spiritual help, yet she still lost her son.
Each generation watches this pattern repeat itself. Everyone is calm until a boy is born, then the fear and desperate search for solutions begin again. Now, it is my turn.
I have a two-year-old son. I want him to grow up, to become a man, to live a full life. My husband is a pastor, and I have told him everything. We are praying. But I have seen others pray before me, and the outcome did not change.
People whisper about us. Some accuse our family of using male children for rituals or money. That is not true. We are simply a family of strong, successful women carrying a silent grief; the loss of our sons before they even have a chance to live.
My son is innocent. I refuse to accept that his fate is already sealed. But beyond prayer, what can I do? What practical steps can I take to protect him?
FG/AE
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