John and Joana had an arranged marriage and after six
months, he came across a bitter truth about his wife’s violent sex life before
marriage. Joana had an affair with a classmate during her college days. The boy
threatened her and blackmailed her to be in a relationship with him. It was a
very toxic relationship and she agreed to his tantrums and demands because he
often threatened to commit suicide. He even forced her to get physical with
him.
While telling her husband about her love life, she
apologised for not having told him earlier but at the same time, she seemed
relieved because now a weight has been lifted off her. However, the same was
not the case with John.
“After listening to her violent past, I am really disturbed.
Looking at her cheerful face, I sometimes doubt if she had told me the whole
truth. I don’t know what to do. I cannot even think about all that has happened
to her. And I can’t accept her without knowing everything. What shall I do?”
shared a disturbed John.
A lot of couples, who get to know each other better only
after marriage, might face this situation. Accepting a partner’s past sex life
may not be so easy for all, in case they weren’t aware of it before. Some might
even feel betrayed. However, the real question remains is how to accept a
partner’s past sex life?
According to relationship experts, it is natural to feel
uncomfortable upon hearing such a situation. However, when a partner opens up
about his or her past sex life, it suggests that the person trusts the partner
a lot. So, after such confession, the right thing for the other partner to do
is to stay in present, support the other and work for a better future.
Also, communication is key here. In case, the person wants
to know every detail of the partner’s past sex life, he or she should have a
polite conversation to clarify the remaining doubts. But, remember, that should
be the last conversation about the past and they should avoid this topic from
then onwards.
It’s important to know the past but never let it impact your present and future, right?.