Incest, is sexual abuse involving members of the same family. Fathers are sexually abusing their daughters, siblings are engaging in sexual activity and children are being abused by people they should be able to trust most.
Recently, there was a report of a man with three wives who had allegedly impregnated two of his daughters.
In another disturbing case, a 55-year-old man was accused of sexually abusing his six-month-old daughter. There have also been cases involving young men and their mothers or aunties.
Consider the case of a 12-year-old girl who was doing well in school. Suddenly, she became quiet and withdrawn and her academic performance declined.
Her teacher sensed that something was wrong and after several conversations, the girl disclosed that her father had been sexually abusing her repeatedly.
The teacher was advised to report the matter to the police but unfortunately did not return. Apparently, he lacked the courage to pursue the case.
These cases are disturbing, but they may represent only a fraction of what happens behind closed doors. Many incidents of incest never reach the police, hospitals or social welfare authorities.
Why does incest happen?
There is no single reason why incest occurs. Sexual abuse within families can involve the abuse of power, distorted boundaries, opportunity, manipulation and secrecy.
Parents naturally share close emotional bonds with their children. A father may be particularly attached to his daughter, while a mother may have a close relationship with her son.
In some cultures, affectionate expressions such as referring to a child as a “little husband” or “little wife” may be used casually.
However, affection must never be confused with sexuality.
Adults have a responsibility to maintain appropriate boundaries. A child’s clothing, physical development or behaviour can never justify sexual abuse. The responsibility always lies with the perpetrator.
Some perpetrators deliberately create opportunities to be alone with children. They may use gifts, money, affection, threats or emotional manipulation to gain the child’s trust and keep the abuse secret.
Effects of incest
The consequences can be devastating.
Victims may suffer physical injuries, sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies.
They may also experience fear, shame, anger, anxiety, depression and difficulty trusting others.
The psychological impact can be particularly severe because the perpetrator is often someone the child depends on for protection and support.
Some victims become withdrawn, lose interest in school or activities they previously enjoyed or develop behavioural problems. Others may struggle with intimacy and relationships later in life.
Where pregnancy occurs between close biological relatives, there may also be an increased risk of certain inherited genetic conditions.
Why don’t victims report?
Children may remain silent for many reasons.
A perpetrator may threaten them, tell them nobody will believe them or warn them about what will happen if they speak. Some use gifts and affection to manipulate the child and make the abuse appear normal.
Others are afraid that speaking out will destroy their family. They may worry about what will happen to their mother, siblings or father.
Sadly, some victims who disclose abuse are blamed rather than protected. Relatives may accuse them of lying or trying to destroy the family.
Such reactions only strengthen the culture of silence.
Some mothers may also fail to recognise what is happening. A perpetrator may deliberately hide his behaviour, while a mother may find it difficult to believe that her husband or another trusted relative could abuse a child.
Economic dependence can make matters worse. A woman who depends on her husband may fear losing her home, financial support or marriage if she reports him.
But protecting a marriage cannot come at the expense of protecting a child.
Can we control incest?
Yes, but controlling incest requires more than condemning perpetrators when cases become public.
Parents must teach children about body safety, personal boundaries and inappropriate touching. Children should know that they can speak to a trusted adult when something makes them uncomfortable.
Parents must also create an environment where children can speak without fear of punishment or judgment.
Schools have an important role to play. Teachers are often among the first people to notice changes in a child’s behaviour or academic performance.
They need the knowledge and confidence to recognise possible signs of abuse and report concerns through the appropriate channels.
Health workers, religious leaders, social workers and community leaders must also be equipped to respond appropriately.
Most importantly, incest must not be treated as a private family matter.
Sexual abuse remains abuse regardless of whether the perpetrator is a father, mother, sibling, uncle, auntie or another relative.
If a child discloses abuse, adults must listen, avoid blaming the child and take steps to ensure the child’s immediate safety.
If your husband abuses your daughter, be strong enough to protect your child and report the matter. You may fear losing your marriage, but allowing the abuse to continue can leave your child with wounds that may last a lifetime.
Incest thrives in secrecy. It survives when victims are silenced, families choose reputation over justice and adults refuse to believe that someone they know could commit such an act.
We must ,therefore, break the silence and protect our children.
Our children deserve homes where they feel safe, loved and protected — not places where the people they trust become the source of their greatest trauma.
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