We all look forward to Christmas and New Year as it is the
time when you really look forward to spending more time with your family and
loved ones. But don’t be surprised when we tell you this is also the time when
most couples start having doubts in their relationships. It is interesting to
note that this can be seen as a reason for the sudden peak in divorces in
January.
According to a study conducted by the University of Essex,
couples should enlist reasons of staying or leaving a relationship to get a better
picture of what they really want. Do they want to work on their relationship or
call it quits?
Among the 27 reasons from 447 participants, it was found
that some of the reasons why people chose to stay were fulfillment of emotional
and physical intimacy, family duty and financial benefits; while reasons to
quit were breach of trust, bad sex life, regular conflicts, acute dislike for
the partner’s personality.
The study also found that two broad concepts that people
consider while deciding the fate of their relationship include Investment Model
and Staying because of fear.
Talking about the Investment Model, it was revealed that
when people felt that they had more positive experiences than negative, they
chose to stay in the relationship. These investments could be emotional as well
as financial. Things like shared bank accounts, houses, loved children make
them think that probably they won’t find a more satisfying relationship
outside. When these couples don’t feel satisfied, they invest the least in the
relationship and feel the confidence to move away.
Coming to the second aspect, Staying out of fear, many
people decide to stay in a relationship because they fear hurting their
partner. They fear it may take a toll on their overall well being and may also
impact their identity and space in the society. The societal pressure is high
and that makes you stay.