Ruth Kadiri Blames Big Weddings For Pressure On Marriages

Nollywood actress and film producer Ruth Kadiri has sparked conversations online after sharing her thoughts on how big weddings put pressure on couples and may contribute to failed marriages.

In a video shared during the week, the actress advised young couples to consider low-key weddings, arguing that elaborate ceremonies often come with financial and mental pressure. She also warned that big weddings, particularly for public figures, can expose couples to unnecessary public scrutiny.

According to Kadiri, the pressure to satisfy family members and meet society’s expectations can take attention away from what truly matters: building a successful marriage.

“I think the big weddings put pressure on couples, and on the marriage itself. Not just financially, but mentally too,” she said.

The actress also questioned why some relationships that thrive for years suddenly begin to experience problems after marriage.

“People always have a phobia about what marriage is, but they could date a girl for a long time, but after marriage everything changed. Have you asked yourself what changed? Marriage is what changed,” she said.

To address the problem, Kadiri encouraged young couples to keep their wedding ceremonies simple and focus more on their relationship than on impressing people.

“I want to encourage those young people to do a low-key wedding. Two people from both families should go and pay dowry, and for the wedding, invite only 30 people, go to court, go home and invite a pastor to bless the marriage,” she advised.

The actress also used her own marriage as an example, revealing that she has been married for seven years without having the elaborate wedding celebrations often expected in Nigeria.

“I never had that kind of marriage. I think that is why I am successful. I am seven years in marriage. I have seen people divorce after three months,” she said.

Kadiri further criticised the pressure Nigerian couples face to organise court, traditional and church weddings, noting that some people believe their marriages will not work unless they go through all three ceremonies.

According to her, these expectations can make couples spend beyond their means while also exposing their private lives to public attention.

“Nigeria puts so much pressure on us. They expect us to do court marriage, traditional and church marriage, and some people genuinely think if they don’t go through this process, the marriage will not work,” she said.

She added that the public attention surrounding weddings could make couples vulnerable to unwanted interference, while also pointing to the emotional burden of society’s expectations.

Beyond marriage, the actress called for a change in the pressures placed on young people, particularly firstborn children, who are often expected to succeed financially and provide for their families.

She urged people to rethink the constant pressure to succeed, stressing the importance of protecting their peace and enjoying life.

“God will not allow us to live for 60 years and use 50 years getting angry,” she said.

Her comments have attracted reactions from social media users, with many agreeing that couples should prioritise their happiness over expensive wedding ceremonies.

One commenter wrote, “After the wedding, nobody sends you if you like empty your account.”

While some believe both elaborate weddings and low-key weddings are good, they said if couples must have a big wedding, they must have the money to spend and not force people to donate for them.

Ngozi Uma is a Nigerian Arts and culture writer and critic. She specializes in art reviews.

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