Dear Bunmi
My partner of 12 years and I had three children, though we never got married. He first left me during my second pregnancy for another woman, but I gave him a second chance. Six months ago, he left me again when I was seven months pregnant with our third child for a work colleague and they’re still together.
Right now, I intend to cut my losses and move on but last week, he told me he’s made a huge mistake and wants me back. He says he misses the kids and he still loves me. We’ve made love on two occasions but I told him it can’t happen again.
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I don’t think I want to be with him, but I don’t know if I should give the relationship one last go as I do really like the idea of a proper family. I just don’t know if I can trust him.
How can he suddenly realise he loves me now and wants to marry me? He says he’s constantly arguing with this other woman and he doesn’t love her. She’s older and going through a divorce and has a child.
She was offering him a lot of material gifts, even a car, to symbolise them together. He now says none of that means anything any more, that I and the kids are more important than anything materialistic. Please help.
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Casandra, by e-mail.
Dear Casandra,
There’s no good time to have an affair but when your partner is pregnant? And twice?! This guy clearly knows how to play you. He knows that after all he’s done, you’re tempted by the lure of a happy little family. But you’re never likely to have that family while he’s in it.
Of course, he’s going to say he’s changed, that he loves you and the children, that he doesn’t feel anything for his other woman. But should you believe him and give him a third chance? I think not.
You said you’d started to move on. Well if I were you, I’d continue moving on with the children, and without him.
Vanguard
