By Bunmi Sofola
A person desperate to have a relationship would swallow any lies dished out by an opportunist out to have a good time and nothing else. Often times, you get trapped in the web of lies you weave and what happens? “Towards the end of last year, I put myself in a bit of trouble,” recalled Boye, a technician with a big IT company that specialises in installations of highly-sophisticated satellite products. “One of our highly-valued technicians had a minor mishap and I was sent to replace him.
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The Saturday I got to this new location, there was this big society wedding and I was one of the crew that assembled the plasma television sets used to relay the event to the huge audience. I had never seen so much food and booze in my life! After installation, a couple of us settled on one of the tables as soon as the boss left. Mingling with the guests with well-chilled champagne glass in my hand, I found myself socialising with a couple of giggly ladies who were obviously tipsy.
“As the evening wore on, I latched on to this lovely girl who obviously found me attractive. As we chatted, the booze must have played with imagination as I started giving this girl glowing accounts of my status. I lied about a lot of things because I thought it was going to be an out-of-station fling. I’d never given a thought to seeing her again, so I told her I ran the company that installed the entire electronics gadget. I pretended I drove a fancy car when I don’t even own one. I also gave the impression I lived in a big flat when all I have are two rooms in a sprawling building. My lies seemed harmless at the time and the two weeks I spent with her was fun.
“We continued phoning and texting with me lying I was too busy to travel down, the more we chatted on the phone the more I realised I really liked her. Then, she told me the ‘exciting’ news she would soon be in Lagos for another friend’s weeding. It was then I wished I’d let on I was bragging, but I was worried that if I did, she’d go off me. But once she gets here, she’ll realise none of what I’ve told her is true.
She’ll see the real me and realize I’m not rich or a big shot and won’t be interested. I’m just hoping that if I entertained her lavishly, she would overlook all my whoppers!”
Boye won’t be the first guy to beef up his personality, especially when out of station and he wouldn’t be the first to have to admit he may have exaggerated things a little or a lot. He was in a posh setting and had to justify his being there by presenting himself as a glossed-up version of himself or who he wished he was. The irony of it all is that this girl too could have painted a rosier picture of her life. Unfortunately, she’ll be the one visiting and Boye would be the one who’s going to be found out first!
A few decades back, when travelling abroad was like winning the lottery, many hopeful men, relying on photograph, only when seeking future brides were almost shocked out of their skin at the flesh version of their intended when they eventually arrived; whilst the arranged brides wondered how on earth they were going to relate to their husbands who’d bought such wives lock stock end barrel. The best way of handling being found out telling a whopper is to come clean either on the phone, by e-mail or a letter confessing what you did and why (you wanted to impress them and were worried they wouldn’t like you as you are). Tell them you’ve taken to them big time and this is why you haven’t come clean before now. You’re scared the “real” you wouldn’t be quite a catch.
You then list all the things you can offer in future: Honestly, affection, love, security and someone who’s willing to work hard to earn back the trust you have lost by lying. I told Boye his girl might be shocked and suspicious at first, but if her feelings are genuine, she won’t care less if he’s not rolling in that much dough (and if she does, good riddance!).
