Listen up, guys!
Men’s magazines will have you believe that trying to woo a lady is some sort of intricate science that researchers have been trying to figure out for centuries. However, this isn’t exactly true.
Along with a little bit of effort, obviously, if you really want to know how to get a girl to like you, sometimes what makes the biggest impact is the weird and whacky stuff you do without even thinking about it.
We spoke to several women about some of the unlikely ways the guys who became their boyfriends were able to win their hearts.
And maybe, just maybe, what they shared with us can teach you how to get a girlfriend …
Here are the best (and totally counterintuitive) dating tips and advice for men from women on how to get a girlfriend:
1. Show that you care
If you want to win a woman over, especially if it’s early in the game, you need to show that you care, deeply, about her health and welfare.
That’s what women notice in men.
“Before my husband and I started dating, when we were just sleeping together, I somehow ended up telling him that I had to go to the doctor to have a biopsy done on my cervix because they were concerned I had cancer. He got off the night shift, stayed up until I had to go to the hospital, and then drove me to his place where he set me up on his couch with his pyjamas, his bathrobe, a bowl of my favourite cereal, and Lord of the Rings extended editions. Then he went to work and brought me ice cream when he came home. He stayed awake for 36 hours to make sure I was OK and had everything I needed, and completely pampered me while I recovered … before we were dating.” — Colleen, 29
“When I was out once with a guy I was seeing named Mike, a random man was bothering my friend Lindsey. Mike stepped in and said, ‘Excuse me, sir, she doesn’t want you touching her or bothering her, so please leave her alone.’ I thought it was cute that he stood up not for me, but my friend. This guy was a lot bigger than Mike and was very drunk.” — MS, 26.
“We were dating, and I fell off a set of stairs and broke my leg. We weren’t anything official yet, but he took time off work to come and take care of me. What guy does that? He won me over, and realized he was a keeper.” — Ruthie, 40
2. Don’t be afraid to be quirky.
Women like men who don’t exactly conform to the masses.
Being cool is great, but if there isn’t some strangeness in there, it’s kinda “meh.” It’s important to let your quirkiness shine.
“Last Christmas, my boyfriend’s gift to me consisted of multiple components, and one of them was a harmonica. I was thinking (and actually said out loud), ‘… the f*ck?’ to which he responded, ‘Get it? A harmonica for Monika!’ It was pretty endearing.” — Monika, 26
“The guy I was casually seeing, who lived out of town at the time, flew in as a surprise and had someone deliver a hilarious ransom note to me while I was at work. The ransom note was from my beloved stuffed animal frog, Lawn. I spent my whole shift hoping it was he who had done this. It was, and he won my heart with that… then broke it very similarly years later.” — Dana, 33
3. Pretend to be someone else
While being yourself is always recommended, it’s OK to stray from that if it means getting someone’s attention.
“I got asked out while riding a bicycle once which was super-awesome. He had to get my attention by pretending to be a bike cop wanting to give me a ticket for not wearing a helmet, which was not uncommon. I thought it was so clever so I went on a date with him.” — Cortney, 30
4. Sacrifice your “manliness.”
I think we can all agree that any man who can show his sensitive side is the kinda guy a lot of women will go crazy for. So, why not really push the limits?
“I had to practice some makeup techniques, and he let me use his face as a canvas. At that point, I was like ‘Yeah, I’m totally into this guy for playing along.’” — Amber, 25
5. Fake having the same interests
Sometimes you’ll find yourself sitting across from someone whose interests vary from yours.
There’s nothing wrong with pretending you’re interested in something, even if you have no clue what it is.
“On our first date, Scot asked me what kind of music I liked. I told him I was into indie music, as in the independent music scene. He said he was too, although he couldn’t name a favorite band because he ‘loved them all.’ Several months later he admitted that he had no idea what indie music was and assumed it was from India. It was adorable. To this day, he still says he listens to indie music, although he knows what it is now and actually doesn’t.” — Jennifer, 34
6. Play hard to get
It’s true that sometimes we really do want what we can’t have, and it’s only when we don’t have something or lose it that we realize we need it.
“It’s like every story you’ve ever heard: he wanted me, I wasn’t interested so he moved on, so, of course, I wanted him after that. Turned out, his new girlfriend was made-up and just a technique to serve the exact purpose it did. We’ve been together for almost five years.” — Elizabeth, 28
“After a long, flirtatious conversation, a guy I liked left the party without asking for my number. It made him seem mysterious and desirable. The next time I saw him out I was determined to talk to him again. We ended up dating soon after that.” — Stephanie, 26
As you can see, there really is no strict formula to getting a girlfriend. It just takes being yourself, but not being yourself, a couple of white lies, some caring … and the occasional ransom note.