New African Fathers

Thabo Kunene and Habou Adi

19 June 2011

Are the times when fathers saw their children just a few minutes a day over? A new generation of emancipated men have become involved parents and enjoy raising their children and taking responsiblity for household chores. In Africa too.

Joe Mabodoko : Family comes first

Every weekend when he is not working, Zimbabwean national Joe Mabodoko takes his two year old son for a walk along one of Cape Town’s beautiful beaches. He also washes dishes at home and changes nappies for the baby if the wife is busy with something or if she is not feeling well.

Joe, 48, can cook for the family and do other household chores-something still regarded as taboo in most cultures on the continent. Joe is a typical modern husband. He is well educated and doing well in his business and with his government work where he is one of the officers who set mathematics examinations for students in schools in the Western Cape region of South Africa.

” I put my family first and I love my wife and child, ” says Joe who taught for many years in the rural areas of Binga district in Zimbabwe’s Matabeleland province.

He says he is not ashamed to tell his friends that he washes dishes and the baby at times. In Zimbabwe many men stick to traditionally held beliefs that women belong to the kitchen and must do all the household chores.

If your friends see you washing dishes or changing baby’s nappies they will think you have been bewitched by your wife and might try and seek help from sangomas-traditional healers. But as times change, more and more Zimbabwean men are beginning to change and divert from those traditional beliefs.

Joe says he will not behave the way his ancestors and parents did in the olden days. Joe says although many men of his age still don’t want to assist their wives with household chores, he is not ashamed to do so at home because times have changed.

Gone are the days when African women were just tools for men to use to make babies.

” I like what I do and I will not stop assisting at home even when my wife is not sick. My wife is happy that she did not marry a lazy man or traditionalist who comes home to sit and read newspapers while the wife cooks for him even when she is tired, ” added Joe.

It is no secret though that many black husbands still don’t want to be seen doing what they call ‘ women’s ‘ duties at home.

Issoufou Mourtala: I ask about their homework

At 52, Issoufou Mourtala is considered to be an exemplary father. Always dressed in his traditional boubou, he works as a news researcher for La Voix du Sahel, the number one public radio station in Niger.

Issoufou Mourtala is married with five children. The eldest, aged 22, is in second year medical school at the University of Niamey and the lastborn, 8, attends primary school. As a public servant, Mourtala usually spends his day at the office. Also known as “Khomeiny” by his close friends and colleagues, Issoufou Mourtala is an open-minded and friendly man. He has a remarkable understanding of local and world events. “Nothing surprises me”, he insists, alluding to the news.

A naturally quiet man, Mourtala visits his parents, friends and neighbours regularly. These commitments take up a lot of his time so he is not always home. However, Mourtala’s absence at home does not mean he is neglecting his familial duties. Mourtala: “When I come back from the city, I check that all the children are home. I also ask whether they have all done their homework”. He adds: “Things are great with my wife. But she is interested in political affairs, whereas I don’t care at all about politics”. One of the neighbours simply told us that “Mourtala is a good person”.

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