A moment that changed me: I learned to read and write – at 42

Peter Lloyd with his Read Easy coach, Alison Hollinrake. Photograph: Supplied imageView image in fullscreenPeter Lloyd with his Read Easy coach, Alison Hollinrake. Photograph: Supplied imageA moment that changed me: I learned to read and write – at 42I had worked for 25 years, married and started a family. But a crisis at the supermarket reminded me there was something missing from my life

In 2021, at 42 years old, I had the reading age of a four-year-old. I had spent my life up to that point not being able to read and write, navigating the world with careful planning and the help of my wife. During the Covid lockdowns, however, the world turned upside down and my usual way of going through life exploded. My wife was home-schooling our 10-year-old son and I was ashamed to not be able to help; my usual work as a lorry driver was put on hold, and even simple tasks like shopping had become incredibly difficult.

I became overwhelmed one day in the supermarket aisles trying to find a milk that my wife and son could drink, since they are both allergic to dairy and soy. I worried I might poison them. It hit me that the way I had been living my life previously could not continue.

I didn’t want to tell my wife, because she was dealing with enough already, but once I got home it just came out that I was struggling. She then told me she had found an organisation that might be able to help me. Since leaving school, I had tried multiple times to learn how to read – nothing had worked. I didn’t think it was worth trying again but she convinced me to do it for her. That moment changed my entire life.

I was born partially deaf, and things were difficult growing up in Lancashire. I could hear people talking to me but I often became overwhelmed by noises, which meant I couldn’t follow what the teacher was saying at school. At six years old I was transferred to a special school, but there, things got worse. Each student was dealing with their own special educational needs or behavioural issues, so it was even harder to concentrate. At the same time, I had several operations on my ears, which meant my hearing came back, but by then I had been told to sit at the back of the class and keep quiet. When I left school at 16, I had no qualifications, I had a bad stammer from anxiety and I couldn’t read or write.

I managed to get a job working on a nearby farm through a friend, and after a year I decided to go to college to learn how to read. My parents discouraged me as they thought it was better I earn a living and contribute to the household costs while I was still living at home. Thankfully, I was able to pass my driving test because there wasn’t a theory portion and I could memorise what the road signs meant. I realised I was good at visualising and could map out a route in my head.

Eventually, when I moved out, I applied for my lorry licence. Using those visualising skills, I began working as a lorry driver at 22 years old. I got by through memorising motorway numbers and routes. The invention of talking satnavs was a great help. Yet I still couldn’t read.

In 2010, I was convinced by a friend to try college again but, once more, it didn’t work – I didn’t have the foundations of literacy to understand what they were trying to teach. However, it was there that I met my wife. Once we were together, it was a huge relief for me, as she would step in to help whenever reading or writing was involved. I didn’t feel judged by her.

We carried on like this, working as a team, for the next decade until Covid hit and I reached crisis point. After the milk incident, my wife suggested I get in touch with the Read Easy charity, and I organised an initial meeting with one of its volunteers, Alison.

I had a meltdown before we even met, since I couldn’t figure out how to pay at the car park, but once I finally made it inside, Alison put me completely at ease. She said we would need to start small but that she would be by my side, working through a series of reading manuals created by the Shannon Trust.

View image in fullscreen‘ I can’t believe how beautiful reading is’ … Peter Lloyd. Photograph: Supplied imageMy goal was to read the first Harry Potter book, since I had heard they were wonderful and I could identify with Harry as an outsider because of my deafness. Over the next three years we met twice each week and the world completely opened up to me. I finished the Harry Potter book, and even though I missed out on reading to my son when he was younger, we can now do other things together – such as cooking, because I can read and follow a recipe he’s chosen.

Today, I’m an ambassador for Read Easy, since I think it’s important to encourage others in my situation to seek help, especially men who might be too ashamed to talk. I also want to take my GCSE in English and I’d like to change careers to keep helping others. I have three books on the go at the moment – I can’t believe how beautiful reading is!

Peter’s story features in The Book That Changed My Life, which airs on 14 October on BBC Two and iPlayer