You become a man when you first decide to put away the things of childhood, the talk of childhood, and the thoughts of childhood. You decide because you cannot be treated as both a man and a boy. Because you are either one or the other, but you are not both. In this particular write-up, we shall discuss about eight most important things a man needs to learn in life.
Good Parenting. Years down the line, your kids will look up to you as a role model, as an ideal, as a cushion, as a man with certain behavioral traits, someone who can navigate them through the tough battles of life. It’s a long process, you can not be a great parent overnight. Taking responsibility. Someday your parents will age, your career would grow up, the dependency on you would escalate, you will have a life partner, kids will need to be looked upon, financial needs would shoot up. Learn to take responsibilities, start small, gain confidence and it will sink in as a habit. Some become responsible by circumstance, some learn it gradually.
Emotional maturity. You can not afford to be vulnerable to the whims of the external world, you can not solve all the differences with people around, you can not always win an argument, you can not keep grudges for long, you can not keep whining about small things in life. It’s time to be emotionally mature and reduce your responses to things that brings negative energy.
Financial planning. It is not merely about those rules of “save first, spend later” or “investing in conventional instruments”, it is about being wise and circumspect about your spending and investing patterns. Learn to create wealth over longer time horizon, plan for contingencies, plan for future expenses. It would definitely make your life easier.
How to treat women. I don’t claim to be any expert in this area but women are not delicate flowers or fragile vases; they are not dishrags or doormats either and if you put a woman on a pedestal sooner or later she is going to fall off and break your precious image of her. Treat a woman the way you want to be treated. Stand up straight, look her in the eye and tell her exactly what you want. Some women, in fact many women will not be interested in what you want. But there’s lots and lots of women out there and many of them will indeed want the same things as you and when you meet, that is when the magic happens.
Learn how to control your sexual desires. Following your heart is fine. Following your mind is fine. Following your penis is a recipe for disaster.
Learn how to define success for yourself. You will have a dozen voices telling you things. But ultimately you need to weigh your options, walk your own path, and live with the consequences. Do not live someone else’s life.
Learn how to relate to your family and siblings at each stage of life. No relationship is static and none are perfect. And few relationships test us as much as those closest to us. Being the ‘better’ man often involves initiating forgiveness and reconciliation.
Learn to have moral backbone. There are days where your voice and strength are needed in the world, but it will cost you. And you might be alone. Be a man, and walk into the fire. Even if no one will ever know. Especially if no one will ever know.
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