8 Ways To Say You’re Sorry To Someone You’ve Hurt

Big mistakes like cheating or emotional abuse are hard to forgive, so your best bet is to avoid these mistakes to start with. For smaller mistakes, forgiveness is a bit easier. Start by saying you’re sorry and make sure your attitude matches what you are saying.

1. Don’t wait too long 

The best thing you can do is apologize as soon as possible. There is a huge difference between saying you’re sorry an hour later and a week later. If you wait for longer, your spouse or partner has a long time to think about what you said and whether they even want to forgive you.

2. Skip the blame game 

Never, ever blame your spouse for how you behaved. An adult can accept that they have played a role in the problem or made a huge mistake. Your feelings and actions are your reaction. They represent your self-control and discipline. No one makes you angry. You choose to respond in anger.

3. Watch your words 

Never say something in anger that you’ll want to take back later. If you call your partner a name or say something mean, he or she will remember it later. Don’t take your partner’s forgiveness for granted. They are under no obligation to forgive you if you have done something unforgivable.

4. Leave the past in the past

If you want this apology to work, you need to stay focused on the present. Bringing up a past argument or your partner’s mistakes will only start a new argument between you two. Let the past remain where it belongs.

5. In person is the best 

Apologizing is the right thing to do, and how you apologise is extremely important. Don’t send a text to apologise for a major transgression; always apologise in person. If you can’t apologise right away, a voicemail is a better choice than a text.

6. Your partner’s feelings are valid 

Sometimes, people are too dismissive of how their partner thinks or feels. If you respond with, “If you were hurt, I never knew,” it essentially invalidates their feelings. You might not understand why they feel that way, but you should care because they are someone you care deeply about.

7. Reduce your expectations.

In some cases, a spouse will get furious when their apology isn’t accepted right away. You cannot control how someone responds, so get rid of all of your expectations. If your spouse wants some space or needs to wait to forgive you, listen to them. They may even get angry when you show up to apologize.

8. Demonstrate sincerity 

After a fight, you need to show your partner that you won’t make the same mistakes again. People can understand when you make a mistake once, but their understanding evaporates if it’s repeated. Instead of throwing your relationship away because you can’t learn to change, show through your words and actions that you are honestly working to change.

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