Sometimes friends let the green-eyed monster get the better of them. If a friend is jealous of you, there are many ways to take note of this. Pay attention to your interactions and evaluate whether your friend is being condescending or standoffish. Notice your friends overall behavior.
Someone who seems pessimistic is more likely to be jealous. If your friend is jealous of you, talk it out and work on a mutual solution. A strong friendship can survive feelings of jealousy. Below are signs your friend is jealous of you:
1. Monitoring your interactions.
Watch out for backhanded compliments. A jealous friend may try to look supportive by giving you compliments. However, their jealousy will show through because the compliments may come off the wrong way. If you pay attention to certain compliments, you may notice passive-aggressive put-downs. These types of compliments can indicate jealousy.
For example, a friend may find a way to make it sound like they’re complimenting you, but work in an insult. Say you get a new job. A backhanded compliment may be something along the lines of, “That’s great. They don’t usually hire people with so little experience, but good for you.”
2. See if your friend diminishes your achievements.
A jealous friend likely feels bad about themselves. Therefore, they are eager to downgrade the achievements of those around them. If you experience good news, your friend may look for something negative to say or a way to make you seem undeserving.
For example, say you get an “A” on a paper. A jealous friend may say something like, “Don’t get ahead of yourself. We still have half the semester to go, so I wouldn’t get too confident yet.” Along with diminishing your achievement, some jealous friends may even go one step further and make comments that upstage any achievements you have.
These friends may make comments that put emphasis that they somehow have gotten something bigger and better than your own achievement.
3. Notice a lack of overall encouragement.
Secure friends celebrate one another’s achievements. While other friends may give an enthusiastic congratulations if something goes well for you, a jealous friend will react differently. They may say something curt like, “Ok. Cool.” It will not sound like a sincere or excited congratulations.
4. See if your friend is pulling away.
A jealous friend may start to pull away from you. If they are experiencing jealousy, they may see your success as representing what they don’t have. You may notice a jealous friend slowly pulling away.
A friend you once saw often may claim to be “really busy” and constantly make excuses not to see you. You may notice your friend makes time for other people in your social circle, but rarely has time for you anymore.
5. Pay attention to whether your friend listens.
A jealous friend will get tired of hearing about your success. You may notice your friend seems disengaged when you talk about things like your job, school, or a new relationship. They may look away, play on their phone, and not make comments or ask questions about your life.
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