Some people have happy and early realizations of love while others take their due time in realizing and accepting they are in love. For centuries, the idea of true love is in debate.
What is true love?
True love is believed to be one of the purest forms of love and if you are fortunate enough to find it hold onto it like one would on to dear life. Hopeless romantics believe that one should always try to seek their true love in the world and that true love reaches us in one way or another.
True or not, just love in the literal sense is a blessing in itself. It’s hard to define true love since love has various definitions and takes innumerable approaches to manifest itself. You can’t keep the feelings of love alive without actions and you can’t force someone to love you just with your actions. Love is dynamic enough to oscillate between feeling and actions.
True love is simple. If you happen to find your way in a relationship that is strong and lasting and where you feel genuinely happy, satisfied, and passionate, you are in true love.
True love is found when both men and women remove all the shades and skins of their pretence in front of each other: when their true self is revealed. Real love is when with your undisguised hearts and esteems you amalgamate with each other effortlessly.
Infatuation and Love
Feeling just attraction towards someone isn’t love. Most of the time attraction and interest come from infatuation and when infatuation is taken as love it can often turn into tragedy and catastrophe.
When you are driven by unreasonable desire with no sense of constraint and sanity you are just infatuated, not in love. Sometimes infatuation does end up in love but many times when the infatuation ebbs away with time and love has not been born to fill up the space the connection severs.
Love is relentless and reassuring. It’s both the calm before the storm and the calm after the storm. Love survives the storm. Below are some points that differentiate love from infatuation.
Like and Love
It’s hard to tell apart the difference between loving and liking. Many times the person themselves doesn’t realize if they are in love with someone or they just like them. So the question is how we tell apart love from liking.
- Liking can be superficial, Love is deeper.
You can like someone for their physical appearance. Maybe you find them too pretty or too handsome to turn away.
Love goes beyond physical appearances. Many relationships do start with physical attraction but love comes into the picture when the couple understands each other on a deeper level.
- Liking makes you self-conscious, Love makes you feel free.
When you like someone and are near them you feel self-conscious. You want to be on your best behaviour and best appearances. You act to impress.
When you love someone you are your natural and unreserved self. You don’t act to impress the person you love.
How long does it take to fall in love?
While some people claim that falling in love can be instantaneous, some believe that love is more of a process that takes time to initiate and prosper. According to psychology, if your heartstrings strum at first sight of someone it’s more because of the attraction you feel for the person than love.
The time frame fluctuates according to the person and the couple since love is a variable feeling. Its pace and intensity depend on the individuals. You might be with someone for years and still not feel genuine love for the person whereas you can start feeling the pull and stirrings for someone in a few days. That means you share compatibility with the person and your pheromones are at work with them
According to a survey, men take on an average of 88 days to say “I love you” while women take an average of 134 days. On the whole, it’s not that you can’t have genuine and strong feelings for someone in a short span, you sure can. However, most of the time those feelings are either liking or infatuation which do feel a lot like love in the start.
So, it’s healthy for both you and the other person to take time to explore your feelings and name them before jumping to the idea of love. Sometimes you are so obsessed with the idea of love that a mere attraction can make you think you are in love.