The sex-talk is one of the avoided discussions in most African homes even among sexual partners. There is so much more to a healthy sex life than understanding which part goes where.
In fact, ignorance about sex is one of the leading causes of bad sex. Thankfully, this is also a problem that is relatively easy to fix. There are some issues that come up repeatedly that were either not taught in school or were taught wrong, these wrong notions need to be addressed if you are in a romantic relationship. Below are some:
Discuss sex often with your partner
Too many people feel that they should not discuss sex, but talking openly about it is one of the best things you can do for your sex life. Talking about it with your partner leads to better sex, talking about sex with others helps ensure that you and they are properly educated, and talking about it yourself improves your self-acceptance, confidence, and self-esteem.
STD can be got from Oral sex
Too many people still think that anything short of penis-in-vagina penetrative sex isn’t “real” sex, and that can lead them to do risky things that could end in contracting a sexually transmitted disease or another bad outcome. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) stresses that any exchange of bodily fluids or genital contact can spread disease—always remember to use barrier protection, such as condoms or dental dams—to protect yourself and your partner. Always stay faithful to reduce the risk of STD.
A woman can get pregnant any day of the month
Most people believe that a woman can only get pregnant two or three days out of the month, or that she cannot get pregnant during menstruation, but this is a myth. A woman can ovulate more than one egg in a cycle that can be fertilized. Sperm lives up to five days, meaning even if you don’t have sex on the day she ovulates, sperm from previous days can still linger and fertilize the egg leading to pregnancy.
You should still take precautions like using condoms but you should still get regular check-ups and screenings from your doctor; more importantly, if you ever feel unsafe before or during a sexual encounter in any way, walk away.
Consent must be the first time
One of the most damaging yet widely believed myths about sex is that you’ll “just know” if someone’s into it and that asking permission will break the mood. According to Samantha Heuwagen, LMFT, a sex therapist in Atlanta, Georgia, getting consent isn’t simply asking “Hey want to have sex?” Sex is a very complex term that encompasses so many things from intercourse to heavy petting to kissing, and you need a clear, verbal ‘yes’ at each stage in order to move forward with partners, leaving nothing up to chance.