Does Marriage Mean More Expenses?

John Chuks Azu

1 July 2011

analysis

Are you married or planning to get married one day? Have you ever stopped to count the financial costs of marriage as against its gains? Would you subscribe to the postulation that marriage from the wedding ceremony to maintaining the home and raising children, is financially draining?

Marriage has been defined as a legal union or relationship between a man and his wife. It is seen as a socially recognised and approved union between individuals, who commit to one another with the expectation of a stable and lasting intimate relationship. It is a contract whether written or unwritten. Within the African traditional context, there are roles to be fulfilled by either of the partners and there are rights which are obligatory to the partners.

Most Africans see marriage not just as an emotional and sexual relationship of two persons but as a way of sustaining family and social values through the transmission of same from one generation to another. Assisting the extended family system within a shared responsibility guaranteed in a marriage, caring for the aged members of the family, and inheritance of wealth by the biological and legitimate offspring of the union, are all at the core of marriage in the African society.

The responsibility for the upkeep of a home rests higher on the shoulders of the male partner. And because society and religion expects so much from them in a marriage, many youths, including the females, form the impression “who would not want to suffer with a struggling mate?” and dread to thread the path; worse still, the African and Nigeria’s stuttering economy with its attendant youth unemployment leaves most singles avoiding marriage. The result has been the very many cases of illicit sex, unwanted pregnancies and abandoned babies.

For the married, they now have many expenses to grapple with. Some of these are: food, cloths, medical bills, electricity, school fees, water bills, security/ vigilante levies, sanitation, transportation fares, religious donations, care for extended family and other dependants, plus taxes and rates. For these the question remains; is marriage not a drain-pipe in the purse of the mates?

For Mr Ernest Idima, a legal practitioner, marriage is a blessed union from God and therefore no matter how expensive, the spending is worthwhile. “I married at the age of 27 and ever since we have not lacked. Marriage is an institution made by God and he will always provide. Agreed that you spend more in dresses, food, school fees when coupled than when single but expenses in marriage are judiciously and appropriately incurred. But the one you spend taking your girlfriends to the clubs as a single person are unaccounted for. And don’t forget that marriage brings blessings too,” he said.

On the fact that western cultures, where smaller families are encouraged, have fared better economically than Africans, Idima cautions, “It is important, from the economic point of view, to have the size of family you can adequately cater for. Anything short of adequate planning for your family will amount to economic waste and more problems.”

Emeka Rogers, a civil servant disagrees that marriage involves more expenses. “I did not know I was wasting my time in the past thinking that marriage is expensive; it is not. I married last year and I will soon be a father,” he said

Bala Jatau, a businessman married with six children said marriage is indeed expensive and only those prepared and matured for it can handle it.

Erin Joyce of Investopedia says marriage actually leads to wealth irrespective of the fact that there are expenses to be regularly incurred. She said studies show that the average millionaire in the world is married with three children with wives who do not work outside the home except may be as teachers. She said, however, that the wives of these millionaires are good budgeters and are most often more frugal than their husbands.

She says for a marriage where both partners are working, they can benefit from the pooling together of two incomes, “One of the advantages of having a life partner is the potential to pull in two incomes. If you are able, consider structuring your set expenses based on only one income, and save what comes in from the other income. Doing so strengthens your financial position in two ways:

In case of an emergency or if one partner loses his/her job, you will not only have less set expenses to cover, but you will also have built up your net worth as a safety measure”.

In order to keep your expenditure in marriage low, Erin advises couples, especially the males to avoid divorce. The fact that the cost of a divorce depends on many factors including income, legal fees, court fees, and the assets a couple has and how they are divided for settlement runs into millions, and in some of the cases where alimonies are imposed, makes it mandatory for the husbands to try to stick with their wives.

Finally, the youths are encouraged to look beyond the issue of expenses which are superficial factors when considering marriage. This is in recognition of the fact that like every other institution or venture, marriage has its own pros and cons. But like the saying goes, if you say education is expensive try ignorance or better, in this instance, would you rather try loneliness?

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