Suicide mission
What else is this court supposed to do? The boob-baring bug has defied age, culture or education borders. Our gavel has fallen every week with heavy judgment.But these ones won’t listen.Should we set up a loose boobs tribunal or have Boobs Special Marshal?
This is a matter of urgent national importance.
‘By fire by force’
We hate it when you flaunt what you don’t have. Our findings show that the Nigeria fashion police are concerned about wannabes who flaunt their tits ‘by fire by force.’ Our jury wonders where you got the guts to hatch such a notorious plot in public. Well, if we are to believe an eyewitness during court session, “na bad market cause am.” That definitely explains all this show of flesh. Nevertheless, you must pay N3 million fine within 24 hours or that dress would be confiscated. Mind you, we don’t care how you get home.
Boobs proliferation
We are so unhappy about the proliferation of what is now seen in legal terms as “the boob window dress.” Our jury believes we need to get our scientists to invent a new device that would keep wild and stubborn tits like yours in check. We are sure we need a lot of funding for this initiative. So you have been fined N5.5million to kickstart the research.
Suicide mission
Haba! This is so unfair. How could you do this to those pair of breasts? For this abuse, we have decided to put together a panel that would agitate for breast rights because of your ilk. You are hereby fined N5 million.
Grandma!
Grand ma, how we hate to prosecute you, but we can’t ignore this at all. Why would you place expired wares on the shelf on the pretext that they are still very valuable? Even if you paid so much for general overhauling of your tits, don’t you think they should be locked and sealed at this stage? Grandma, please, with all due respect, we implore you to dress your age next time. For now, pay a N2 million fine.
Breastful
Pretty face, we need no soothsayer to tell us that you are well endowed. But letting the ‘girls’ hang out half out of your dress is a no-no in this court of law. You are hereby banished from every public function and pay a fine of N2.5 million.
Contrast
We were lost for words when we saw this exhibit, because it was a great contrast to your age. How come your exhibit went all south south? Section 230 subsection 23a states that you should “dress the way you want be addressed.” You are hereby sentenced to three months in Azare, Bauchi State, where you will be mandated to milk cows every morning. We are sure you will appreciate your mammary glands better while there.
‘By fire by force’
Boobs proliferation
Breastful
Contrast
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Loose Boobs Tribunal (LBT)