13 May 2011 08:28:00
EPL,Wayne Rooney,Manchester United vs Everton
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By James Daly
David Luiz isn’t quite the superstar we had come to know and love
You know when you discover something about one of your heroes – like he is actually a member of the NRA or once married his step daughter – well, that was sort of what it was like when David Luiz put in a first-half performance so shockingly bad at Old Trafford that he was hauled off by Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti with his side already two goals down and waving goodbye to the Premier League title.
The effervescent Brazilian has entertained since his £22 million switch from Benfica in January with some impressively well-taken goals, some all-action displays at the heart of the Blues defence and a sterling effort putting off Frank Lampard and Fernando Torres during post-match interviews.
But on Sunday he was alarmingly exposed by the fleet-footed Javier Hernandez after just 36 seconds, with the Mexican going on to score the game’s opening goal, and after a further 44 minutes that was more David Blaine than David Luiz he was told not to reappear.
This section of WWLTW is sponsored by Mark Schwarzer; Fulham’s Australian custodian who for years has been as reliable as an old Volkswagen but on Monday night broke down in spectacular fashion as he handed Liverpool three goals in 13 minutes. Literally. Passing the first to Maxi Rodriguez, letting the Argentine’s second slip by him and fumbling Dirk Kuyt’s tame shot in at his near post. Chin up Mark.
QPR go a bit Lib Dems – indulge in a third party apparently no-one cares about
The only time most of us have to bother ourselves with anything third party is the mind numbingly boring process of taking out car insurance, but it’s a phrase that is going to become synonymous with dodgy dealings in football after QPR escaped serious punishment despite being found guilty of breaking two FA rules over the signing of midfielder Alejandro Faurlin.
It means the Hoops will not be deducted points, thus retaining their spot at the top of the Championship table and promotion to the Premier League. There were tears aplenty in the home changing room at Loftus Road on Saturday as word filtered through that the FA were just dishing out an £875,000 slap on the wrist, probably because it means the players won’t have to cancel payment on that new Bentley.
But does it mean we will be seeing more third party owned players in England? In south America it is common practice for players to be owned by businessmen, big companies and even supermarkets, as clubs are so poor they can’t afford to keep hold of their stars and have to lease them back. It’s a worrying thought that in the future Wayne Rooney could be owned by Lidl, not just because we might have to see him appearing in their adverts. The Nike ones with the string vest were bad enough, WWLTW couldn’t face Wazza in a hairnet.
Dig out the passport, luv | …we are going to the Seychelles after all
| What we will learn this weekend… |
 Matthew Etherington and Robert Huth will make an FA Cup final appearance no matter what shape they are in, with Stoke left with little play for in the league and Saturday’s clash with Manchester City undoubtedly their biggest in years. Don’t rule out bionic legs or puppet strings from the technical area.
We’ll get to see whether Maxi Rodgriduez really is any good. Hat-tricks against Fulham and Birmingham are one thing, but another against Spurs and we’ll have to start taking him seriously. We’ll also see if Sir Alex Ferguson has worked on his celebrations lately. Assuming his Manchester United side don’t lose at Blackburn they’ll be champions, but the court jester style arms-aloft jigs really need working on, Sir Alex. |
Football can beat the world’s ills – and we don’t mean Barcelona’s diving
We spend most of our waking hours (and plenty of the sleeping ones) deliberating over every tiny aspect of the game, writing off certain players on a whim, and quite happily castigating those we disagree with or who dare to criticise our beloved team.
And yet when a footballer is struck down with a serious illness suddenly all that doesn’t matter. Eric Abidal’s return to the Barcelona starting line-up for the La Liga clinching game against Levante on Wednesday was a stark reminder that there are some things that are bigger, and more important, than football. Namely staying alive.
The French left-back has conducted himself with poise and class during the ordeal which saw a tumour operated on, and had to watch his Barca team-mates storm to the league championship and Champions League final.
It was a welcome boost in a country that lost a sporting icon in Seve Ballesteros just last week; another man who transcended rivalry, animosity and all that is bad about sport to become one of the most loved men in golf. Not that Eric Abidal is one of the most loved men in football but it’s nice to see the game rallying around one of its own in their time of need.
Plus it takes the world’s eye off the Barca players’ stop, drop and roll tactics that have threatened to take the shine off another otherwise wonderful season of attacking brilliance.
Peter Crouch has a sense of humour, that or he just really hates betting
Here’s a lesson on why you should never take WWLTW‘s advice on betting. After last season’s 1-0 win for Tottenham at Manchester City thanks to a Peter Crouch goal an overwhelming urge came over to place a few quid on the same scoreline with the same scorer – I mean, football does have a knack of repeating history? And with the fixture falling at almost the same point of the season as it did last campaign, it seemed too good an opportunity to miss.
Whether Crouchy caught wind of the bet, or just didn’t enjoy playing in the Champions League this season as much as he made out, will remain a mystery but his first-half own goal meant City won by the same scoreline. Cue much remonstrating in the bookies from WWLTW that the bet should stand on account of being bold enough to predict that Crouch would score at all, but sadly those pleas fell on deaf ears and that’s five pounds that will never be seen again.
It does, though, wrap up a rather sorry end to the season for Spurs who now have to settle for the Europa League at best – or, perhaps preferably, nothing – and have also lost Gareth Bale for their final few games thanks to Charlie Adam’s roaming studs. The alarming capitulation following their Champions League exit at the hands of Real Madrid has not been a pretty sight, and could well be the precursor to a bit of a summer clear out from Harry Redknapp. Crouchy has certainly not done himself any favours.
Oops, I did it again | Crouchy puts past his own keeper against Manchester City
Neil Lennon has united Scottish football…against him
If it’s not bomb threats it’s fans running into the dugout and planting a hearty punch in his head, but still Celtic manager Neil Lennon soldiers on. If he had been a politician the world would be going into meltdown right now, but not Our Neil; he didn’t even flinch when the Hearts fan launched his meaty fist at the Hoops boss on Wednesday night. In fact, he took to kicking his assailant a couple of times while stewards rolled around on the ground with him. Rocky Balboa would have been proud.
It’s a sorry reflection on the state of Scottish football that Celtic’s SPL title challenge will always be overshadowed by the threats made to Lennon over the course of the season, which include letter bombs sent to him and two Celtic directors, and is an issue that is being addressed by the powers that be in world football.
But if there was ever a man who embodied what it is to stand up to the bad boys, it’s Lennon. The government should use him to front anti-bullying adverts.
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