Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: To Spank or Not to Spank?

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Long, long ago when I was still a swinging single girl, I remember going out on dates with a mission: to find out if the guy of the month was ‘the one.’ I recall bringing up ever so gently — or not so — subjects surrounding the future of my fantasy family and watching these guys’ faces tighten with the fear of commitment as they’d try to politely answer my innocent but leading questions, without getting in too deep.

I may have been doing it subconsciously, but I was not the kind of single girl, future wife and mother that wasted my time on a guy that didn’t share the same fantasy of having a family. I’d ask horrible questions like, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” “Do you want to have children?” “Where will you raise your family?” “Do you believe in open marriage?” “Will you raise your children religiously?” and “Would you ever spank your child as a form of discipline?”

Particular answers would have been major dealbreakers, so I felt I was doing everyone a favor by saving us all a little time and heartache. I got my answers time and time again as I went through the dating process. Keeping it light and simple wasn’t my forte because I knew what I wanted — and that was a family. Until Ron, I may have scared a few men with my straightforward approach.

When Ron and I started to date, I performed my usual ‘feeling out’ of the marriage and children issue. He didn’t run scared and he still doesn’t scare easily. I’ve gotta tell you ladies, it was so refreshing. We were off to a good start! Thankfully, he was as eager about the whole ‘future’ thing as I was. On our romantic dinners, he’d entertain my probing questions with heartfelt answers and allowed me to fantasize with him on our future together.

He handled it all with such grace and as time went by he emerged as the family man I had always dreamt of. That is … until one terrible night when the subject of spanking came up. Not the adult version! The kind that some parents feel is a useful tool in laying down the law.

Now, you must understand why I always seemed to be bringing up this issue. For me, I knew that it would be a problem and so I’d find myself seeking that answer time and time again. I was shocked when Ron said that he absolutely had no problem with the idea of spanking — but only if it was necessary. For a couple that had only been dating for several months, it was surprising that dinner turned into World War III.