Whether it is a polite comment of untruth “I love your new hairstyle!” or an omission of information, it is a known fact that everyone lies. Humans begin honing their skills of deceit around the age of 4. We quickly learn that we can use these skills in attempts to stay out of trouble and manipulate some situations to our benefit.
Lying during a poker game is expected. Lying to your partner can be the kiss of death to your relationship. If you are lying, you are likely hiding something, and/or trying to avoid conflict which isn’t going to magically resolve itself and disappear.
If you are being lied to, you are going to want to know.
There is no surefire way to tell if you are being deceived, but there are some pretty standard signs that can be indicators, if you know what to look out for.
Novice liars typically exhibit signs of nervousness when laying the foundation for their web of lies. The more practice someone has at lying, the less nervous and fidgety that person will be, so your best chance is if you are dealing with an unprofessional.
- Rapid heart rate
- Sweating profusely (when not exerting themselves physically)
- Dilated pupils
- Rise in vocal pitch
Liar’s stories often lack details because it is less for them to remember. If the story you are being told sounds vague, press for more details and ask repetitive questions periodically to see if the story changes.
When someone is lying, there is a good chance they will intentionally avoid making eye contact.
If you think you are being lied to, pause before answering or asking questions when engaged in conversation. If someone is lying, they most likely cannot wait for the conversation to be over, so any pause that will lengthen the conversation is unwanted and gives you increased opportunity to see if there is a visible increase in their stress level.
One reason liars are so successful is because they know what it is that their victims want to hear. Ask yourself if their story actually makes sense?
Know your partner. Any change in non-standard behavior is a sign that something out of the ordinary is up.