We women are communicative beings. We LOVE book clubs. We make up the majority of the audience at talk shows. We write articles like this one. The point is, we like to dissect every word, behavior and look. That’s why when women fight, we require an hour and a few cups of tea (spiked or not) to work out our problems. Men usually just need time, and sometimes that time only adds up to a few minutes. Women need complete explication. And men often fail to give us that… So, just to make things clear, and perhaps thus heading off a few fights, here are three things that most men do, having no idea it will drive their ladies crazy….
1. You’re A Man Of Few Words I once asked a boyfriend if I could invite our friends to dinner. While popping a zit and never turning from the mirror he said “no.” And that was it. And I was pissed. Let me explain: Women want to feel like you care where we are coming from. We want you to be inside of our heads. I know, we ask a lot. When my boyfriend answered “no” this is where my mind went: “does he not like those friends? Is he attracted to the other girl and it makes it weird for him? Are those friends dead and he just doesn’t want to tell me!?” (Just kidding about that last one—we’re not that crazy) You know women over think things; so just ease our ever-buzzing minds and provide an explanation. If you’re going to cancel on us, or make a decision regarding our plans, or scoot over one inch on the couch … we want to know why. It shows us that you care.
2. She Feels Like Your Last Resort… You’ve had a long week at work. You’ve had projects running late every night. You FINALLY have a free moment and you can’t wait to see your girlfriend, so you call her. Well guess what? Maybe she’s busy! Maybe she’s got a life of her own! Maybe she made other plans, a-hole! She actually was probably waiting by the phone this entire week and if you would have picked it up just ONCE to tell her how nuts your week was and to notify her of when you’d finally be free, you wouldn’t get the reaction from her that you just got from me.It’s easy to make a woman feel like your plaything and that you only fit her in when it is convenient for you. If you take a few moments to figure out what time during the week you’ll have to see her and ask her ahead of time to reserve that day for you, it will show that you really care to guarantee you get to see her. Even though you know you really want to see her as you call her up at 11 o’clock at night to see if you can come over … that doesn’t exactly scream “you’re high on my priority list” to her. Do us a favor, keep a calendar or something.
3. s*x Is Always Your Solution Aren’t women cute when they get worked up? Your wife is pacing around the room, ranting and raving about her ever-critical mother and you really just want to take her to bed right now (that could be because she’s talking about her mom who’s a total MILF). Regardless, when a woman feels close to a man, she shares her problems. And, as men do, you want to provide comfort and support … in the form of some really great s*x. While sometimes that’s exactly what we need to loosen up, we want to feel like you take us seriously. It’s easy to get in the mindset that you are your wife’s escape from her problems. But just like we don’t want to feel like your plaything, we don’t always want you to be ours. Sorry guys, but if your wife is bitching about her boss, you may actually have to come up with some advice as to how she deals with the problem. s*x can be a great stress-reliever, but it’s only temporary. If your wife is dealing with stresses in her life, they will build up and she’ll be turning the lights out and turning away from you in bed at night. Next time you’re rubbing that slap print off of your face wondering what you did wrong, just remember this: women like to be fully informed. That is kind of the common theme in all the above mentioned scenarios, don’t you think? They want to know what’s on your mind and what’s on your schedule. Make it up if you have to, but tell them SOMEthing more than a one word answer … or zero phone calls. It could really reduce our Valium intake.