The dating scene is often described as a “supermarket of options”, but for many women, it feels more like a psychological minefield.
Experts have recently warned that the stress of “modern dating” isn’t just exhausting, it’s actually making women sick.
“Modern dating is quietly impacting women’s health, and we need to spread awareness,” says Mercedes Coffman, a marriage and family therapist and professor.
According to Coffman, the “quiet” pressures of ambiguous relationships can lead to a weakened immune system and chronic health issues.
Therapists are highlighting a startling connection: 80% of autoimmune diseases occur in women. Dr Gabor Maté, a renowned physician, notes that these diseases are often linked to specific traits:
- Putting others’ feelings above your own.
- Ignoring your own needs.
- Suppressing “healthy anger.”
In today’s dating world, many women feel pressured to stay “chill” in ambiguous situationships. This keeps the nervous system in a constant state of “high alert”, which slowly wears down your body’s ability to stay healthy.
4 Ways your body is reacting to dating stress
1. The “cortisol spike”
When you’re dealing with “ghosting” or “breadcrumbing” (getting just enough attention to keep you interested), your body stays in a state of hyper-vigilance.
- The result is that your body produces too much cortisol (the stress hormone). This leads to bad sleep, digestive issues and a weaker immune system.
- A 2025 study found that the rejection from being ghosted triggers the same part of the brain as physical pain, causing your heart rate to spike.
2. Hormonal havoc
The uncertainty of modern dating can actually mess with your menstrual cycle.
- Stress can disrupt estrogen and progesterone, leading to irregular periods or worse PMS.
- Secure relationships release oxytocin, which lowers stress. Without it, the anxiety of dating feels twice as heavy.
3. The comparison trap
If women are on dating apps, and because these apps treat people as “replaceable”, it’s easy to internalise rejection as a personal flaw.
- A 2024 study showed that frequent app users are three times more likely to struggle with unhealthy weight-control behaviours.
4. Dating burnout
“Dating App burnout” is being treated as a real clinical condition. It happens when you feel that no matter how hard you try, nothing changes. This leads to a “numb” feeling that can affect your work and friendships.
A solution: “Health-first” dating
Women are fighting back against these trends by choosing “slow dating” and “somatic awareness”.
Here is how to reclaim your well-being:
Trust your body. Stop looking at the profile and start looking at your physical reactions.
- Gut check: Does your chest tighten or your stomach knot when you see their name? That’s your body’s “first responder” alerting you to a misalignment.
- Healthy anger: Don’t suppress your feelings. Anger is a boundary-setter that tells you when you’re being mistreated.
Set digital boundaries
- The rule of 5: Only talk to five people at a time. It keeps the experience human rather than a chore.
- App detox: Take a mandatory 30-day break from dating apps to let your nervous system reset.
- Offline pockets: Meet people through hobbies or friends where “social vetting” happens naturally.
“Dating experiences are meant to elevate our lives, not deteriorate them,” says Coffman.
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