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Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Why we borrow hoodies in relationships: the science of comfort and connection

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If you’ve ever borrowed your partner’s hoodie “just for the weekend” and somehow never gave it back, you’re definitely not alone.

According to a light-hearted online survey by CouponBirds in 2024, 56% of men said they never got their hoodies back after lending them to someone they were dating.

That’s more than half of all hoodies gone forever in the name of love, comfort, and emotional connection.

But what is it about hoodies that makes them such prized possessions in relationships? Why do we wear them, keep them, and hold onto them long after the relationship fades? As it turns out, this cosy clothing ritual is backed by both science and sentiment.

These days, a hoodie is more than just something to wear. It’s become its own way of showing love, like a modern version of a class ring or varsity jacket.

When you get one, it’s a simple way of saying, “You’re important to me.”

When someone gives their hoodie to their partner, it’s rarely just about warmth, an exchange that represents trust, affection, and a small piece of identity.

And for the one receiving it? The act of wearing that oversized hoodie feels like being wrapped in someone’s presence. It’s soft, familiar, and safe, almost like a warm hug that lingers. There’s actually a scientific reason why wearing your partner’s hoodie feels so comforting.

A 2018 study from the University of British Columbia found that women who smelled their boyfriend’s scent on clothing experienced lower stress and anxiety levels compared to those who smelled a stranger’s scent.

Smell is one of the strongest memory triggers we have, and when it’s tied to someone we love, it becomes deeply emotional. The scent of a partner’s hoodie activates a sense of security, even when they’re not around.

It’s the reason why many people keep a hoodie or T-shirt when they’re going through a long-distance relationship or a breakup; it’s emotional armour disguised as casual wear.

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Why do guys give (and girls keep) the hoodie

Guys may offer up their hoodie for several reasons, some romantic, some instinctive and others just plain sweet. Here’s what experts and real-world stories say:

  • To show care or affection: Lending a hoodie is a simple way of saying, “I want you to be comfortable.” It’s a small but powerful act of generosity that signals emotional availability.
  • To express interest: A guy who hands over his hoodie is often making a subtle move it’s protective, thoughtful, and says, “I like you enough to share my favourite thing.”
  • To leave a reminder: A hoodie carries a personal scent and memory. When a guy gives it away, it’s a way of saying, “Remember me when I’m not around.”
  • To look chivalrous: There’s a timeless romanticism in draping your hoodie over someone’s shoulders. It’s a gesture rooted in care, like offering your coat on a cold night.

As psychologist Dr Rachel Needle explains, when we share something personally valuable, like clothing, it deepens emotional intimacy. It creates a sense of ‘us’ rather than ‘me’.”

For many women, wearing their partner’s hoodie isn’t just about stealing something warm; it’s about closeness, identity, and affection. Oversized hoodies feel comforting, and there’s something irresistibly cute about being wrapped up in something that belongs to someone you care about.

The slouchy, casual vibe is fashionably laid-back and emotionally loaded at the same time. The “hoodie effect” reveals something bigger about how we express connection in today’s world.

Relationships have become more casual and digital, but we still crave physical reminders of intimacy, small, tangible tokens that ground us in emotion and memory.

Fun facts: “The great hoodie heist

Most borrowed items in relationships:

  1. Hoodies (56% never returned).
  2. Accessories (41%).
  3. Socks (27%).
  4. Phone chargers (23%).

Top reasons hoodies never make it back:

  • “It smells like them.”
  • “It’s way too comfy to give back.”
  • “I forgot whose it was… oops.”

Most common excuses for keeping it:

  • “You have plenty of hoodies.”
  • “You said I could borrow it anytime.”
  • “I’ll give it back when we see each other again.” (They won’t.)

The hoodie phenomenon says a lot about modern love; it’s less about grand gestures and more about small comforts.

It’s the warmth of something borrowed, the scent of someone missed, the memory stitched into every sleeve.

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