And no, it’s not just one of those things your ouma used to say over tea
We’ve all heard the saying: “He died of a broken heart.” Usually, it’s whispered in a sad story about an elderly couple who’ve been together for a long time, one passes, and the other follows soon after.
It sounds poetic, something straight out of a Nicholas Sparks movie.
But here’s the thing: it’s not just a romantic telenovela or one of your parents’ bygeloofies (superstitions). It’s real. And the science says it hits men even harder.
Losing someone you love is a pain no one prepares you for. Whether it’s death, divorce, or the kind of breakup that shatters your whole sense of self, that emotional pain feels physical because sometimes, it is.
There’s an actual condition called Broken Heart Syndrome, and it’s not just about feeling dramatic while crying to Adele.
It’s medically known as Takotsubo cardiomyopathy and involves sudden, temporary weakening of the heart muscle, usually triggered by intense emotional or physical stress.
According to the Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa (HSFSA), the condition is triggered by severe emotional or physical stress, most commonly after events like the death of a loved one.
While it mimics the symptoms of a heart attack, it isn’t caused by blocked arteries – it’s caused by a sudden surge of stress hormones that stun the heart.
While local case data is limited, the global understanding of the condition helps us piece things together.
A 2022 study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association reviewed more than 200,000 hospital records in the U.S. and found that while women are more frequently diagnosed, men are more likely to die from it.
The mortality rate was 11.2% in men, nearly double that of 5.6% in women.
The research points to different triggers. Women typically experience Takotsubo cardiomyopathy due to emotional stressors, grief, heartbreak, and trauma.
Men, on the other hand, are more often affected by physical stress, like surgery, injury, or chronic illness. These triggers tend to produce more severe complications, especially when layered with unaddressed emotional distress.
Now, here’s where it gets even more real, because while women might take time to mourn and process, many widowed men move on incredibly fast, often remarrying within a year. It’s so common it’s almost a cliché.
At the funeral, you’ll already spot the “new lady friend” taking mental notes. Is it loneliness? Survival instinct? Or just a fear of not having someone to hand them the remote? Whatever it is, it’s telling.
Psychologically, men may experience a greater sense of loss and loneliness after the death of a spouse, prompting a desire to remarry sooner.
Studies suggest that men often rely heavily on their spouses for emotional support, and the absence of this support can lead to increased feelings of isolation. Remarriage, in this context, serves as a coping mechanism to mitigate loneliness and restore a sense of normalcy .
But despite the rushed rebounds, many men clearly struggle internally. And when that emotional load isn’t addressed, when grief and stress simmer under the surface, it can quite literally stop the heart.
South African cardiologists have also noted how underdiagnosed emotional triggers are in men because they often “tough it out” rather than seek help.
So while “broken-hearted” might sound like a Taylor Swift lyric, this condition is no joke.
If anything, this study should be a reminder to take emotional health seriously, especially for men who are often raised to bottle things up.
Because a broken heart might not just leave you sad. It might be fatal.
