Veteran Nollywood actress, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde, known not only for her groundbreaking roles in film but also for her enduring marriage to Captain Matthew Ekeinde, recently gave fans a rare glimpse into the inner workings of her nearly three-decade-long relationship.
In a candid conversation on Chude Jideonwo’s live podcast, the screen icon revealed the highs, lows, and faith-driven principles that have helped her sustain a healthy marriage since 1996.
Omotola didn’t sugarcoat the experience. She admitted that even in a loving marriage, there are tough days.
“There are times when I look at him and I’m not in love. I go to God and report him,” she said with a mix of sincerity and humour.
“I honour him not because I’m head over heels in love at that moment, but because I honour the One who gave me the mandate to be with him.”
Her honesty struck a chord, acknowledging that every marriage experiences moments of doubt, fatigue, and emotional distance.
“There are times I look at him and think, ‘Somebody please remind me why I married this man.’ And he probably feels the same way about me. Those days come.”
In a world obsessed with perfect images of love and success, Omotola urges couples to embrace their humanity.
“I think the problem is people trying to be fake. Relax—it’s not that serious. Remember you’re a human being.”
She also joked about being attracted to other men, adding a dose of realism that few public figures dare to share:
“There are times I see guys who look ‘fantabulous’ and I say, ‘Oh child!’ But you check yourself.”
Faith as the Marriage Anchor
At the core of her marital philosophy is spirituality. Omotola emphasises that choosing a partner with shared faith is key.
“From the onset, when you’re meeting someone, make sure you have God. Pray that you meet the right person.”
This belief has shaped how she deals with conflict and hardship, turning to prayer, reflection, and spiritual discipline rather than rash decisions.
Respecting Roles, Not Competing for Power
Omotola likens marriage to flying a plane—with her husband as the pilot and herself as a trusted co-pilot.
“I don’t believe in gender equality in the sense that both partners are identical. There is always a head and an assistant.”
She clarified that respecting a man’s leadership doesn’t mean a woman should be weak.
“When a woman proves herself as a worthy co-pilot, there’s no need for power struggles. Give respect and you’ll be respected.”
Friendship: The Glue that Holds Love
Omotola revealed that love alone isn’t enough—friendship is what keeps a marriage intact when the emotional high fades.
“There are times when love fizzles, but friendship holds it together. Be open. Talk to each other. That’s how you last.”
She and Matthew have maintained their bond through frank discussions, shared laughter, and honest communication—even when it’s uncomfortable.
Protect Your Marriage Like a Treasure
One of Omotola’s biggest pieces of advice is discretion.
“Don’t put everything out there. Shelter your family and leave the rest to God.”
She believes in selective sharing, protecting one’s marriage from the dangers of oversharing on social media or letting too many people into private matters.
Space Can Rekindle the Flame
What happens when the passion dies down? Omotola recommends a bold but unconventional move—temporary separation.
“Go somewhere. After a few weeks, come home. You’ll be surprised how the fire of passion is rekindled.”
She believes time apart can bring clarity, self-discovery, and renewed attraction.
Self-Worth and Financial Independence
Omotola also spoke passionately about women achieving independence before marrying.
“Women without income should not consider marriage. If you marry when you’re not financially stable, it becomes slavery.”
She advocates financial stability and self-worth as pillars for a balanced and respectful partnership.
Choosing the Right Partner Is Everything
Finally, Omotola warned against marrying out of infatuation or admiration.
“Don’t marry your fan. Marry someone who truly understands you, someone who shares your values and can handle your flaws.”
Omotola’s Marriage Wisdom at a Glance:
Pillar Insight
Faith: Let God guide your choice and actions.
Respect & Roles: Respect the man as head; be a reliable partner, not a rival.
Friendship: Love may fade temporarily, but friendship sustains the bond.
Privacy: Protect your relationship from public scrutiny.
Financial Independence: Enter marriage whole, not dependent.
Space & Passion: A short break can reignite intimacy.
