Touchstones: A crisis of public morality

In our days, boys who stalked girls or who lurked around were called eve-teasers. Their only ‘weapons’ were whistling or passing lewd comments: physical groping or sexual violence (especially on university campuses) was very, very rare. I was in the Allahabad University from 1968-72, a student of the English Department that doubled up as the Law faculty after 2 pm. In those days, we used to consider all law students goons and louts and although they would pass personal (often witty) comments, I do not recall any physical badtameezi. Of course, we girls walked to our hostel or to the university’s library in a group to remain protected. Some of the comments that were passed by these guys still bring a smile to my face, but there was no flashing or groping that I can recall.

The elephant in this room was the sexual violence within homes. In the large joint families we were part of, there was always a widowed great-aunt or an unmarried spinster who became the target of the horny men in the clan. When I acted in ‘Monsoon Wedding’, I realised how widespread this phenomenon was and how it was always shushed up to keep the family’s good name intact. Uncles, boy cousins, even male servants did unspeakable acts of sexual violence against young girls and single women. To bring oneself to even speak about it was difficult and if one managed to find the courage to do so, chances were that your mum, older sister or an aunt would tell you to never say a word about it to anyone. What damage this did to so many young girls is a matter of enquiry by those sociologists who write and research such matters, but I can tell you that no joint family was pure in this sense.

To some extent, this was altered when colonial architecture created the Civil Lines areas for the sahib log and the shahar was kept well away from its carefully tended municipal precincts. Look at New Delhi today: the zone known as Lutyens’ Delhi is a beautifully manicured area. However, the lanes and pavements around it are a glimpse into a ‘basti’ that is hastily covered up when an important foreign dignitary arrives or an event is organised. That old mindset will forever keep India and Bharat separated because that is how the old feudal and colonial state must remain despite freedom and the promise of an egalitarian state. For all the scorn heaped upon this zone, name me one politician (from any party) who wouldn’t sell his soul to live there.

Finally, endorsing a recent Tribune article in praise of Dr Manmohan Singh on his birth anniversary. I hope this government will bestow him with the Bharat Ratna that he deserved and was never awarded, either by his own party or this one. No one can deny that this quiet, self-effacing doer would raise its worth.