My sister-in-law and I breastfeed each other’s children. People think it’s ‘disgusting’ but it’s only strengthened our family’s bond: HOLLY STEVENS

Sitting in the corner of a cafe beside a buggy, I look like any other mother breastfeeding her baby.

Except that the child in my arms is not my own.

My 19-month-old daughter Violet is sitting in the highchair next to me, playing happily. It’s my four-month-old niece I’m feeding.

She was hungry and I had milk – I plan to breastfeed Violet until she’s two – so why on earth wouldn’t I breastfeed her?

To me it’s the most obvious, natural thing in the world. But I know if fellow customers knew ‘my’ baby was actually my brother Edward’s baby, there’d be raised eyebrows.

Breastfeeding in public remains controversial; just last month influencer Mandi Vakili went viral after she remarked that seeing women exposing their breast to do it makes her feel ‘uncomfortable’.

But feeding your niece? That would probably be seen as disgusting.

I suspect the fact that I regularly breastfeed Pearl – while my sister-in-law Becky did the same for my now seven-year-old son Freddy when he was a baby – would inflame onlookers even more.

Holly Stevens holding her daughter Violet and sister-in-law Becky cuddling her child Pearl

The pair have also run a public relations company with each other for around four years

But women have been feeding one another’s children throughout history, either out of necessity or choice. Well into the 20th century, wealthy families hired ‘wet nurses’, women paid to breastfeed their children. Yet in 2026, a woman feeding any child other than her own is a taboo.

I’ve had women say: ‘I don’t think I could do that!’ But others have praised us, admitting they’ve seen this in their own family.

Of course, it’s vitally important to make sure you know the other mother well; infections can be passed on via breastfeeding.

I was 15 when Becky, then 20, started dating my brother Edward, who was 19. I bonded immediately with this fun, fabulous big sister figure and was delighted when they married seven years later and had a family.

By the time I had my first child Freddy in September 2018, Becky was already a mum of five: twins Lettice and Edith, then ten; Ottilie, nine; Tattie, four; and seven-month-old Foy.

My own pregnancy was a shock as I’d only been with my partner for a few months. But Becky, who I’ve run a PR company with for four years, reassured me I’d be a brilliant mum.

Freddy was five days old when Becky breastfed him for the first time. I was on a pedalo on the lake in our local park with my partner while Becky and my brother looked after him on a nearby bench.

Ten minutes later, Becky texted: ‘Freddy’s hungry. Should I feed him?’

I know many women would be shocked, even horrified, but it honestly didn’t feel strange at all.

When I asked my partner, he had no issue with it. Becky was still breastfeeding Foy, so why not?

Back on dry land, Becky handed me a sated, sleepy Freddy. I thanked her and we didn’t say anything else about it.

I found out later that she’d asked Edward’s advice before messaging me and he’d instantly agreed.

Two weeks later, we were working at Becky’s house while Freddy was at home with the nanny. When I realised I’d forgotten my breast pump, and knowing how uncomfortable a milk build-up can be, Becky said, ‘Oh, just pop yourself on Foy.’

For a split second, I paused: ‘Are you sure?’

‘It’s not a big deal,’ she replied breezily.

So I did. It honestly didn’t feel any different to feeding my own son. That ability to feed each other’s children had so many benefits.

We didn’t need to sterilise bottles and lug kit around, one of us could pop out and do something without needing to plan or worry about how our child would be fed.

Freddy was five months old when I split up with his father. It was an incredibly difficult time, and I became obsessed with the benefits of breastmilk for my son. It was such a relief to know he could always feed with Becky if I wasn’t there.

Freddy stopped breastfeeding at 22 months and in that time, Becky breastfed him two or three times a week. As for Foy, I fed him roughly every week until then.

None of our family batted an eyelid. As for our friends, Becky and I didn’t keep what we were doing a secret but neither did we do it in front of them.

After that, Becky supported me through five years of heartbreaking fertility treatment and miscarriages – a period that provided the inspiration for my current fertility coaching business – to have my daughter Violet.

I wasn’t in a relationship, so I used a sperm donor. Despite Becky and her family having moved to Majorca in 2023, she was my birth partner when Violet was finally born in February 2025. By then she’d had her sixth child, daughter Scout.

Her seventh baby, Pearl, was born when Violet was 15 months. I offered to help when we visited and she suggested I feed Pearl, telling me: ‘I’ll use a pump so I’ll have that milk for later.’

And just like that, I was breastfeeding my five-day-old niece.

As we live in different countries, I haven’t fed Pearl as much as I did Foy.

Becky once tried to feed Violet, but Violet wasn’t really interested. Violet does get jealous when I feed Pearl, and tries to push her off me. I’m sure in time they will become close though.

As for Becky and me, breastfeeding each other’s babies has definitely strengthened our bond – as well as that with our respective nieces or nephews.

No matter what the dissenters say, this is an entirely natural instinct.

For any woman wanting to do it, too, I say you know your baby, your body and what’s best for both. And that really is the only thing that matters.