Mom Disgusted After Husband Refuses to Jump Into Pool to Save Autistic Child

Add The Daily Dot to GoogleMom says husband refused to save autistic child from neighbor’s pool.

A woman shared a post on Reddit about how her husband treated their autistic child and their 14-year-old daughter after their autistic child wandered into a neighbor's swimming pool. The post, titled “AITAH for being disgusted with my partner after he refused to go into a neighbor’s pool to retrieve our eloping autistic child?” drew 2,500 comments.

The woman wrote that her non-verbal autistic child wandered into a neighbor’s pool. She said she called her husband for help because her son nearly weighed as much as she did, and she could not lift him. “My husband arrived, began shouting at me, and argued that he was free from blame because he regularly checks the locks.”

The woman added that when the child remained in the pool, her husband insisted on reviewing the security footage to identify who left the door unlatched. He insisted that the person who left the door unlocked should enter the pool to save the child. “He had already climbed over the locked gate and stood beside the water, placing him in a position to step in and grab our child right away. Despite being there, he refused on principle and demanded I enter instead,” she wrote.

After reviewing the footage, the woman found out that their 14-year-old had left the door unlatched. The woman wrote that after learning her husband had not left the door unlatched, he refused to enter the pool, and she had to climb over the gate and enter the pool fully clothed to retrieve her child safely.

The woman mentioned that this was the third time in a month that she had to get in the pool to retrieve her son and that her husband had last entered the pool three years earlier. “He mentioned this event, claiming it is never his fault, though he was the one who found him and went in.”

After returning home, the husband shouted at the 14-year-old, accusing her of ignoring her sibling’s safety. The woman then wrote, “When I said I was disgusted by his conduct and that a real man/father would have jumped in immediately regardless of who unlocked the door, he accused me of pushing bullsh-t.”

“Later, he sent a text offering a partial apology for blaming me at first, but he maintained his reasoning: defending why he did not go in, continuing to place blame entirely on my 14-year-old, and demanding consequences for her,” she continued.

The woman concluded her post by questioning whether she was wrong to expect that her husband should have been the one to jump into the pool immediately, or whether she was being old-fashioned in viewing it as a father’s responsibility.

One commenter wrote, “He doesn't sound like a very safe person or good father. NTA. Personally, I would do some hard thinking about this relationship.” Another was concerned about the autistic child’s safety and wrote, “I think you have much more important problems to deal with first. If your non-verbal child is running off and getting into the neighbor's pool *three times in a month*, that is an emergency. (It was actually an emergency after the first time.) Your husband sounds like an as-hole, but YOUR KID COULD DROWN. Why are you wasting time on Reddit adjudicating blame?”

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the identities or experiences described by the Reddit users. The details above reflect the original poster's account as shared on r/AITAH.

Share on FacebookShare on X (formerly Twitter)Share on RedditShare on PinterestShare on BlueskyPrernaPrerna is a senior writer with over 10 years of experience covering entertainment, politics, and digital culture. She’s passionate about tracking the trends, stories, and conversations taking over the internet. A movie fanatic at heart, she’s always looking for her next great watch. When she’s not chasing stories, she’s probably binge-watching something addictive and insisting everyone else watch it, too.

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