Cocaine enters parliament without a visitor’s pass!

Once upon a time in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, a most distinguished visitor arrived at Parliament House without an invitation, accreditation or visitor’s pass. He did not queue at the security checkpoint, submit himself for inspection or explain his mission to the officers at the entrance. Yet, before the honourable members could settle into the serious business of discussing the nation’s finances, his presence was being loudly announced.

Not Honourable Cocaine, although judging by the attention he received, one might have mistaken him for a newly elected Member of Parliament. He had neither contested an election nor sworn the oath of office. Yet he had managed to secure parliamentary recognition without appearing before the Appointments Committee.

Such privileges are not enjoyed by ordinary Ghanaians.

The occasion was the presentation of the 2027 Budget, when the Finance Minister arrived in Parliament armed with figures, forecasts and assurances about the country’s economic future. The Minority, however, had other matters on its mind. Amid the parliamentary proceedings, references to cocaine entered the political exchanges, reminding the Republic that while the government was busy discussing economic recovery, certain unwelcome consignments had been attracting international attention.

The Finance Minister came with the national budget. The Minority came with what appeared to be a supplementary commodity, one that featured neither in the revenue estimates nor in the expenditure projections, but had nevertheless generated considerable interest among European customs officials.

For decades, our leaders have encouraged farmers to grow more cocoa, entrepreneurs to export processed foods and manufacturers to conquer international markets. Successive governments have travelled abroad promoting Ghana as an attractive investment destination. Trade missions have been organised, export strategies launched and speeches delivered about the urgent need to diversify our economy.

Unfortunately, some criminal entrepreneurs appear to have misunderstood the assignment.

While legitimate exporters struggle with freight charges, certification requirements and international competition, narcotics traffickers have apparently discovered that Ghana’s shipping routes can also serve their unlawful ambitions.

The latest embarrassment involved coconuts.

Spanish authorities announced the seizure of approximately 2.6 tonnes of cocaine concealed in containers carrying coconuts shipped from Ghana. Earlier, French authorities had intercepted nearly 3.9 tonnes of cocaine in a container carrying plastic waste linked to Ghana.

Now, in the olden days, the Ghanaian coconut was an innocent agricultural citizen. It provided refreshing water to thirsty travellers, nourishment to hungry children and employment to hardworking roadside traders. Nobody suspected that one day the humble coconut would find itself associated with an international criminal enterprise requiring the attention of European narcotics investigators.

Even the coconut must be wondering what offence it committed to deserve such distinguished company.

For years, environmentalists have urged Ghanaians to recycle plastics rather than pollute our rivers and drains. Apparently, some criminal minds have developed their own interpretation of waste management. Where ordinary citizens see discarded plastic, they see an opportunity to conceal a multimillion-dollar consignment.

In the Republic of Uncommon Sense, even rubbish is being encouraged to pursue a second career.

But the real comedy began when cocaine found its way into parliamentary politics.

The Minority had legitimate questions to ask about the seizures and the effectiveness of Ghana’s security arrangements. After all, when tonnes of narcotics associated with shipments from your country are intercepted abroad, it is reasonable to demand explanations.

Unfortunately, Ghanaian politics has a remarkable ability to transform serious national problems into contests over who deserves the greater portion of disgrace.

When one party occupies the opposition benches, every scandal becomes conclusive evidence of government incompetence. Once that same party crosses to the government side, the scandal suddenly acquires international dimensions, historical complications and explanations involving criminal networks beyond the control of any administration.

Our politicians have perfected the art of changing their interpretation of a problem without changing the problem itself.

Indeed, Ghanaian politics may have discovered a substance more addictive than cocaine: political convenience.

The government has been promoting its vision of a 24-hour economy, promising jobs, productivity and economic transformation. The Minority, meanwhile, has found an opportunity to introduce cocaine into the national economic conversation.

One can only imagine the confusion this might cause among citizens who take political slogans literally.

Will somebody soon demand to know whether cocaine trafficking qualifies under the 24-hour economy? Are smugglers operating morning, afternoon and night shifts? Should their activities be captured in the employment statistics? And when the next Budget is presented, will the Finance Minister be required to explain why this particular commodity has not been included among the country’s non-traditional exports?

Before any enthusiastic political communicator rushes to issue a press statement, let it be understood that these are questions from the Republic of Uncommon Sense, not proposals for economic policy.

Still, the spectacle invites a little examination.

Perhaps Parliament should introduce a compulsory course in Advanced Parliamentary Accountability.

QUESTION ONE: A large consignment of cocaine linked to Ghana is intercepted abroad. What should Parliament do?

A. Establish which political party was in government when the cocaine boarded the ship.

B. Investigate how the shipment escaped detection and identify those responsible.

C. Demand that the cocaine produce its NPP or NDC membership card.

D. Refer the matter to the Finance Minister for inclusion in the next Budget.

Naturally, the correct answer is B. Unfortunately, in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, considerable parliamentary energy may be expended debating A and C before anybody remembers B.

Our ancestors warned that when the house is on fire, the sensible man does not waste time arguing about who purchased the matches. He fetches water, saves the children and investigates the cause afterwards.

But in Ghana, we may spend the entire afternoon debating the political affiliation of the smoke while the fire continues burning.

And therein lies the serious matter beneath the laughter.

Cocaine trafficking is not a laughing matter. It threatens national security, corrupts institutions, damages international confidence and exposes weaknesses in the systems meant to protect our borders. The discovery of narcotics in shipments linked to Ghana does not automatically establish the guilt of government officials, exporters or political parties. Such conclusions require evidence, investigation and due process.

But neither should the international nature of organised crime become an excuse for institutional complacency.

How did the illicit consignments enter the shipping system? Were inspection procedures adequate? What intelligence was available? Who handled the cargo? What cooperation is taking place with foreign investigators? And, most importantly, will the investigations produce arrests and prosecutions rather than another collection of impressive press conferences?

These are questions that deserve more than partisan chanting.

Ghana cannot build its international reputation on cocoa, gold, culture and hospitality while allowing criminal networks to attach unwanted footnotes to its shipping documents.

Our cocoa farmers work too hard, our legitimate exporters face too many obstacles and our national reputation is too valuable to become collateral damage in the adventures of narcotics traffickers.

And so, in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, the Finance Minister went to Parliament to discuss the national budget, the Minority arrived to protest the national cocaine problem, and cocaine itself emerged as one of the most talked-about visitors in the chamber.

It had not contested an election, won a constituency or sworn the oath of office. Yet, without a visitor’s pass, it had managed to command the attention of the House.

Perhaps the Speaker should remind honourable members that the purpose of Parliament is not merely to shout about cocaine but to ensure that those trafficking it have their next appointment with a judge rather than a shipping agent.

For in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, cocaine has already entered Parliament through the front door of political debate.

The tragedy would be allowing the real traffickers to continue escaping through the back door of accountability.

Jimmy Aglah writes for the Republic of Uncommon Sense, where common sense is a scarce commodity, absurdity is government policy, and irony is the only thing that never goes on strike.