My mum, church rejected me over HIV status — Advocate, Ekezie

Politics Spice Special Features Education Sex & Relationship Interview Columns Opinion Advertise with us My mum, church rejected me over HIV status — Advocate, Ekezie Interview November 1, 2026 12:10 am Chika Ekezie

Chika Ekezie, a native of Imo State living with HIV, became an advocate after disclosing his status in November 2024, following seven years of self-denial. He tells AYOOLA OLASUPO about his diagnosis, workplace rejection, family and church stigma, and how treatment helped sustain him

How did you first discover that you were living with HIV?

Before I discovered my status, I experienced recurring illnesses, including fever, fatigue, pneumonia, night sweats, severe headaches and weight loss. I cannot remember the seventh symptom. I did not pay much attention to my health because I would simply go to a pharmacy, take medication and relax once I felt better. Eventually, I went to a hospital, where I discovered that I had HIV.

However, experiencing these symptoms does not necessarily mean someone has HIV. The only way to know your status is to get tested.

You said you were careless about your health. Can you shed more light on that?

There is a difference between being careless and reckless. I was careless because I ignored recurring illnesses that required medical attention. Instead of going to a hospital to find out what was wrong, I would go to a pharmacy for relief.

That is why I advise people to visit a hospital whenever they notice something unusual about their bodies. Medical professionals can investigate the symptoms and determine their cause.

My recklessness, on the other hand, was that I had too many sexual partners. I was promiscuous and engaged in sexual activities without restraint because I did not know better. I did not pay attention to the number of sexual partners I had or the precautions I needed to take.

How did you react when you first received your HIV diagnosis?

Initially, it was not a problem for me because I had heard about HIV before, although I did not fully understand it. It became a problem when I started experiencing stigma.

At the time, I was working with a magazine agency in Lagos, and I was frequently ill. One day, my employers asked what was wrong with me and why I looked unwell. They gave me money to undergo tests at a hospital they recommended.

When the results came out, I had to show them at my workplace because the company paid for the tests. I presented the results at about 10am, and by 4pm, they told me that the company was renovating its premises and that I had to leave.

That was my first experience of stigma. I boarded a night bus and left Lagos that same day.

Someone had recommended me for the job, so my employers contacted the person, who subsequently disclosed my status to someone else. Before I knew what was happening, the information had spread.

How long did you work with the company before being laid off?

For only a few months, I think. Before I reached Abuja, where I reside, my mother had already heard about my status. I was surprised by how quickly the information had spread.

The stigma extended to my family. When my mother was alive, people in the church avoided her and held meetings without informing her. My brother was also affected. Some people went to his shop and took away their clothes.

The stigma was overwhelming. What I found difficult to deal with was not the virus itself but how people treated me because of it.

When you became aware of your HIV status, did you inform your partners?

I was not in a committed relationship, so I never had to explain my HIV status to a partner in that context. I was not someone who was comfortable pursuing relationships. I was shy about approaching women, and in the few relationships I had, the women usually approached me. That was why I was more comfortable paying for sex than trying to establish a relationship. I was just not careful about my sexual behaviour.

That is why I tell people that there is a difference between someone who deliberately wants to infect others and someone who is in denial. A person in denial may not take their situation seriously. Acceptance is important because it helps you confront your reality and make responsible decisions.

Some people continue to engage in unprotected sex even after an HIV diagnosis. It does not necessarily mean they intend to infect others; they may need counselling or therapy. At some point, I needed therapy, but I did not get it.

Eventually, I had to look at myself in the mirror and say, “Chika, now that you have HIV and are not on medication, if you are going to have sex, it is not just about the people you could put at risk. You are also putting yourself at risk.”

I could also acquire other sexually transmitted infections if I continued having sex carelessly. I realised I needed to take responsibility for my health, start treatment and become more careful.

How did you summon the courage to keep going despite the stigma?

I always acknowledge God because I do not think I would have been able to do what I am doing today on my own.

I have been living with HIV for nine years, and for seven of those years, I did not tell anybody. I was in self-denial and was not taking my medication. The courage to speak openly about my status is something I can only attribute to God.

What inspired you to start sharing your HIV journey publicly on social media?

Because I had not taken medication for about seven years, there was a time when I was rushed to the hospital again. While I was there, I saw a video on TikTok in which someone said it takes five to eight years for HIV to progress to AIDS.

That made me think that, since I had not been taking medication for seven years, I should use whatever time I had left to express myself.

I thought, “If I am going to die, let me not die empty. Let me know that I helped a lot of people.”

I did not start speaking publicly because I wanted to save people. I genuinely thought my time was almost up and wanted to make a difference before I died. I did not even think I would live this long.

Then, one day, someone told me, “Chika, what you are doing is good. How about you start taking your medication?”

When I started taking medication, I began to see value in my life and decided to give myself another chance. I had thought I had lost everything, but that was not how my story ended.

I publicly disclosed my HIV status in November 2024. Since then, I have used media interviews and social media to share accurate information about HIV, challenge misconceptions and encourage people living with the virus to speak up.

What role has treatment played in your life, and what does it mean to be undetectable?

HIV medication is very effective, and treatment is available free of charge to people living with the virus in Nigeria. It took me less than a year to become undetectable after starting treatment.

The medication also improved my physical appearance. I began gaining weight and my skin looked healthier. I looked different when I started speaking publicly about HIV. My overall appearance has since improved.

Being undetectable means that the amount of HIV in my body has been reduced to a level that cannot be detected by a standard viral load test. When someone living with HIV takes medication consistently and maintains an undetectable viral load, they cannot sexually transmit HIV to another person.

Knowing that I cannot sexually transmit HIV as long as I maintain an undetectable viral load gives me peace of mind. HIV can have a significant psychological impact, and understanding my condition and the effectiveness of treatment has helped me.

When you publicly disclosed your status, how did your family, friends and church members react?

Stigma hurts most when it comes from people and places where you expect to find support. The church, hospital and home can all become sources of stigma. It can come from family members, doctors, nurses, pastors and fellow church members.

I had to stop going to church at some point because the stigma became too much. My brothers stopped talking to me, and my cousins no longer treated me like family. Some people who were supposed to be close to me began treating me like a stranger.

However, some eventually apologised and became closer to me again. There are still people, including some of my cousins, who do not understand that HIV cannot be transmitted through casual contact.

I also know the difference between stigma and someone simply not liking me. Not everybody has to like me, but I can recognise when someone is discriminating against me because of my HIV status.

What is the most painful misconception about HIV that you have encountered while educating the public?

The first is the belief that HIV is a death sentence. When left untreated, HIV can progress to AIDS, which severely weakens the immune system and can lead to life-threatening illnesses. However, with effective treatment, people living with HIV can prevent the progression to AIDS and live healthy lives.

The second misconception is that having HIV means you have failed in life. Some people receive a positive diagnosis and immediately believe their lives are over and that they can no longer achieve anything. That is not true.

People living with HIV can be bankers, chief executives, politicians, senior professionals and pastors. Having HIV does not mean your life has ended.

Unfortunately, images used to represent people living with HIV often show them looking extremely thin, weak and sick. This reinforces the belief that everyone who tests positive will deteriorate and die. That is not the reality for people who have access to and maintain effective treatment.

That is why I live openly on social media. I want people to understand that someone living with HIV can look healthy and lead a fulfilling life with proper treatment.

Looking back at your journey, what would you say to someone who just tested positive for HIV?

I would tell them that living with the virus does not mean they have failed or that they cannot achieve their goals. They can still become everything they have set out to be and even more.

Do not allow HIV to define your life. Take your medication, remain on treatment and allow yourself to live fully. HIV does not have to determine your future. You have what it takes to make the best of your life.

Ayoola Olasupo is a journalist at Punch Newspapers with six years of experience reporting on metro, crime, human-interest interviews, politics, and feature stories. He focuses on amplifying underrepresented voices and producing stories that promote justice, empathy, and informed public dialogue. Ayoola’s reporting reflects practical newsroom experience, editorial insight, and a dedication to accurate, impactful, and socially conscious journalism.

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