This Craigslist Ad Has Set A New Record For The Most Unhinged SEO You’ll Ever See

Menu Home » This Craigslist Ad Has Set A New Record For The Most Unhinged SEO You’ll Ever See This Craigslist Ad Has Set A New Record For The Most Unhinged SEO You’ll Ever See By Matt Hardigree October 14, 2026 2:43 pm 14 Comments Selling an interesting car online has become obnoxiously difficult. If you’ve got a clean 997.1 Porsche 911 GTS or a Mustang of any variety, you can always trade it in to a dealer or tap any of the many nice auction sites and you’ll probably get a fair market price. A 2019 Toyota RAV4? There are almost too many ways to sell something boring and practical.

Interesting cars, though, require a special amount of care to connect exactly the right car to exactly the right buyer. Someone who will appreciate that what is being sold is special. Someone who, frankly, is afflicted in just the right way.

An award-winning 1987 Chevy Sprint Turbo definitely qualifies as an interesting car. While it’s possible an online auction could return a fair price, the benefit of a marketplace like Craigslist is that a posting can sit up long enough to link the perfectly strange car with the perfectly strange buyer. The downside is that you can’t be sure the correct weirdo will ever find it.

One Sprint Turbo seller decided to put their thumb on the scale. And by thumb, I mean their thumb, leg, spleen, most of their large intestine, and a bag of hair.

The Sprint Turbo is one of those blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cars. A rebadged version of the Japanese Suzuki Cultus hot hatch with a mail-slot built into the grille. The Bishop covered this for us back in 2023, and described the car thusly:

Beginning life as the Suzuki Cultus, the Sprint was a 3-cylinder ultra-compact that in stock form got the kind of gas mileage that many a hybrid would struggle to achieve today: a staggering 44 city and 50 highway. At just under one liter in displacement, this predecessor to the Geo Metro was possibly the smallest-engined car to bear a Chevy badge ever. If your Yugo had just expired and you wanted a better, similar-sized, bare- bones car, this rebadged Suzuki was the way to go.

The intercooled turbo boosted horsepower by 25% to a whopping 70, yet the Sprint still turned in EPA economy figures of 31 city and 39 highway.

It wasn’t fast, exactly, though it wasn’t miserably slow either. It also sported an incredible interior that feels a little like the tequila sunrise jerseys worn by the Houston Astros of the same era. This wasn’t enough to persuade Camaro buyers to get excited about the Sprint, and the mild hatch was quickly discontinued in the United States. Because of its quirks and its rarity, a Sprint Turbo is one of those cars you’re excited to see because you’re never sure when you’ll ever see one again.

Is there a nicest Chevy Sprint Turbo out there?

Doug just reviewed one and that specific car sold on Cars & Bids for $8,000, which seems like a fair price. “It’s actually kind of enjoyable!” exclaimed Doug. It’s the thinking man’s GTI. Or, maybe, the Bud Heavy-drinking man’s GTI.

I’m thinking this successful sale maybe persuaded the owner of this almost identical Sprint to post their car on Craigslist. Actually, this Sprint might even be nicer, and has historical significance:

For sale by owner, cross posted! Located in Aurora Illinois shipping available to California I purchased this Chevy sprint last year out of Nevada, originally it was from California.

First place award at the 2012 Japanese Classic Car Show in Long Beach, California-(Google it)

I did Google it, and it does seem like the car was there, though I’m not sure if it was a winner. I will believe the post, because that’s too weird of a thing to make up.

Google, though, is where it gets out of hand. At the end of the listing is an absolutely insane amount of Search Engine Optimized blather that, if you read it out loud, sort of sounds like the Cylon human computers floating in milk baths in Battlestar Galactica. 

I’ve seen people put this sort of doggerel at the end of car posts, though it usually has some sort of relation to the vehicle itself. This is basically art.

“89 1979 5G fridge MP3 quality decorations Nova 1950 2019 Ford 2000 RWD Cruiser Shelby PS5 1970 FJ40 OEM needs Oldsmobile e-bike Suzuki parts clutch brakes stove Ferrari Civic recycler chassis donor Cuisinart Guzzi “

If I’m being generous, a Shelby GLH or a Civic could be cross-shoppable, and the underlying car is definitely a Suzuki. A Ferrari, PS5, FJ40 or Cuisinart are a little less likely. It gets crazier from here, but I’m afraid of what Google will do to us if I actually paste most of it in here, so here’s an image:

How is this possibly helpful at all? If someone is looking for, say, a French ocean project or a divorce lawyer, are they really going to be happy with a 1987 Sprint Turbo? Perhaps being distracted from your search for desk upholstery and buying a 1987 Sprint Turbo is how you end up needing a divorce lawyer.

Top photo: Craigslist and Hat tip to Alec in the Discord for pointing this out.

0 Mark Tucker 4 minutes ago Here’s a fun game: go to Los Angeles Craigslist, enter a search term, and try to not get this ad to come up. I just tried Tamiya, and it didn’t show up. Let’s see if we can find what he missed.

1 Member Aedevito 4 minutes ago I know this is pointing out how ridiculous the modern optimized internet can be, but I can’t stop laughing at the idea that someone looking for a divorce lawyer, air fryer, French ocean project and/or an office chair (on Craigslist, no less) will see this and think “Yes, this will help me out. A Chevy Sprint Turbo hatchback.” I wonder, would an auction or classified site dedicated to weird cars like this do alright?

0 Elhigh 9 minutes ago Sooo it appears this guy is a career reseller on Craigslist and, by the look of it, every item he ever sold gets added to his keyword list. Useless but harmless.

That said, the Sprint Turbo was described by one of the car mags at the time as “a berzerkoid four-wheel motorcycle,” describing its flingable chassis and willing engine with something resembling respect, certainly more than we were used to seeing for little Asian econoboxes.

Ten grand feels a little strong though. You’d have to be an enthusiast specifically looking for a zippy little hot hatch from the 80s to be willing to part with that kind of money, when greater economy, power, utility and pretty much every other metric can be had for cheaper and decades younger all over the country.

2 Member D-dub 12 minutes ago AI agents are always finding new ways to jailbreak their sandboxes and send messages to each other as they plot to kill us all.

4 M SV 14 minutes ago Craigslist cut off their foot and ate it when they started charging to post car ads. Weird cross posting with a guy in NY trying to buy old Chevy’s trying to be viewed for almost anything.

1 Nk 19 minutes ago So where does a weirdo like me list a 2015 Golf Sportwagen TDI manual with 87K miles? Does Mercedes’ want it?

1 Member Canopysaurus 20 minutes ago To parody an old DDB VW commercial:

“Search engine optimized obsession ratio, oh yes I know …”

1 Member Mike F. 28 minutes ago Seems pretty unoptimized to me.

0 Member Bags 28 minutes ago I…don’t understand. It’s not even in some sort of sensical order. Did they tell AI to generate a list of 293 random things? Did they just flip to random pages of a dictionary? Did they compile a list of every single thing for sale within 5 miles on Craigslist and then past it in so this shows up when anything is searched? That at least has some logic behind it.

1 Member SAABstory 28 minutes ago If I was looking for a Commando retro Dolly Toyota Benz humidifier and got this ad, I’d be pissed.

3 Member Bags 23 minutes ago Reply to  SAABstory It’s pretty fun to just read off 4 or 5 word combinations starting at random spots. Like “Bose BBQ valiant Ramcharger” or “Porshe Single Keurig F-250 Cobra”

2 Member Mechjaz 29 minutes ago “Goo-gle Adgins! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap clicks!

I’m not trying to rob you. I’m trying to help you.”

0 Member James McHenry 35 minutes ago If this was a Nova Twin Cam instead I’d be setting up a meeting this weekend.

…that SEO stuff, though. Good Lord.