I was married to a serial killer. These are the signs I missed… and the chilling realization I had when a victim who escaped his torture chamber contacted me decades later

By CHARLOTTE MCDONALD-GIBSON IN WASHINGTON DC

Published: 20:06 EDT, 13 October 2026 | Updated: 20:06 EDT, 13 October 2026

It started with an enigmatic message on Bonnie Lou Gower’s Instagram account in 2024: seven words but with decades of dark history behind them.

‘I hear we have something in common,’ the DM read.

While the contact was completely unexpected, Gower knew exactly who the sender was: The woman her ex-husband had kidnapped and raped 22 years earlier, snatching her from a front lawn in South Carolina, when she was 15 years old.

Gower’s ex-husband was the serial killer Richard Marc Evonitz, who was conclusively linked to the murders of three teenage girls in Virginia in the 1990s. Kara Robinson Chamberlain, now 39, was the victim who got away – and helped police catch up to Evonitz before he ultimately died by suicide when he was 38 years old.

‘When I got the message from her I was kind of floored,’ Gower told the Daily Mail. ‘I wasn’t sure what to do with it, but I thought, ‘She’s pretty brave and is reaching out to me, so I should talk to her and just see where this goes.”

She had previously seen Chamberlain’s social media accounts, on which she advocated for victims and discussed true crime issues, and had considered reaching out herself.

‘But what do you talk about?’ Gower, now 55, recalled thinking at the time. ‘And why would she want to talk to me? I didn’t want to intrude on her life or bring something to her that she didn’t want to deal with.’

Chamberlain held no ill will towards Gower despite her close tie to Evonitz and had often thought about her.

Kara Robinson Chamberlain sent a message to the ex-wife of the man who had kidnapped and raped her 22 years earlier

Bonnie Lou Gower had posted online that her first husband was the serial killer Richard Marc Evonitz

Evonitz, here with Gower, was conclusively linked to the murders of three teenage girls in Virginia in the 1990s

‘I very much viewed her as a victim in a way as well, someone who had no idea who this person was that she was married to, and so I viewed her not as anyone who held any culpability, just as someone who was part of this journey,’ Chamberlain said.

Gower replied and the pair had an instant rapport, chatting for hours over the phone. That initial exchange resulted in a remarkable collaboration, as the two women teamed up to investigate other crimes potentially committed by Evonitz.

The result of those inquiries is documented in the three-part series The Serial Killer Connection, which premiered on Investigation Discovery (ID) on Wednesday evening. Two more forthcoming episodes will air Wednesdays on ID, and all will be available to stream on HBO Max.

It is part of a lifelong quest for Chamberlain to find out the whole truth about her kidnapper.

‘I just feel so very strongly that he was responsible for more than we know… I feel this in my bones,’ she said.

Evonitz’s crimes came to light in June 2002. On June 24, Chamberlain was watering flowers in the front garden of a friend’s house in Columbia, South Carolina, when Evonitz, 38, pulled up in his car, put a gun to the 15-year-old’s neck and forced her into his car.

He drove her to his apartment, handcuffed her to a bed and sexually assaulted her over an 18-hour period. But Chamberlain was able to escape, using her teeth to undo the clasp on the handcuffs and untying a leg restraint before creeping out the door as he slept.

She flagged down a car and was taken to a police station, where the information she provided led officers directly to Evonitz’s home. He had already fled. Police tracked him to Sarasota, Florida, where he died by suicide as police closed in on his location on June 27.

Chamberlain managed to escape from Evonitz and then helped police catch up to him before he ultimately committed suicide

Chamberlain was kidnapped by Evonitz from her friend’s front yard in 2002

Around the same time, there was a knock at the then 30-year-old Gower’s California home.

She had been married to Evonitz from 1988 to 1996 but in the six years that had passed since their separation, she had remarried and had children with her second husband.

Gower was baking a cake with her two young sons when the doorbell rang and FBI agents asked her to sit down.

They told her what happened to Chamberlain, and that her ex-husband was on the run.

‘I was shocked, I could not imagine that he would be capable of hurting anybody,’ she said. ‘It was very surreal, though, a lot of things went through my head.’

And soon there would be more to process. After Evonitz’s suicide, police found notes in his apartment in Richland County, South Carolina, indicating that he was responsible for more crimes.

Forensic evidence eventually tied him to the kidnapping, sexual assault and murder in Virginia of Sofia Silva, 16, in September 1996, and of sisters Kristin and Kati Lisk, aged 15 and 12, in May 1997.

Silva had been abducted and killed when Gower and Evonitz were still living together.

After Evonitz’s suicide, police found notes in his apartment indicating that he was responsible for more crimes, including the murder of Sofia Silva, 16, in September 1996

Forensic evidence eventually tied him to the kidnapping, sexual assault and murder of sisters Kristin and Kati Lisk, aged 15 and 12, in May 1997

Looking back today, Gower understands that she was a victim, too. She was 11 years old when she met Evonitz, who was 20 at the time. He was the older brother of a friend, and they started dating when she was 14; they married in August 1988, just a month after she turned 17.

She describes him as ‘charming’ and says she was smitten.

‘I was raised by a single mother and alone a lot, and was very naive [and] extremely trusting,’ she said. ‘Looking back, I was a perfect victim, in the sense that I was easily manipulated. I didn’t even realize I was being manipulated.’

Evonitz was in the Navy so the young couple moved around a lot, first to Portland, Maine, then to San Diego, California, before settling in Spotsylvania County, Virginia.

In The Serial Killer Connection, Gower recounts starting their married life and finding herself in a controlling relationship with Evonitz, who taunted her about her looks and her weight. Although there were red flags, it was not a physically abusive relationship.

Over the years, Gower found a Polaroid photo of a teenage neighbor sunbathing, a trunk full of pornography and a workout video featuring a teenage girl. She also found Evonitz, who liked to bind her with handcuffs during sex even though it made her uncomfortable, wearing her underwear once.

When she raised concerns about the pornography or expressed unease about the bondage, he was dismissive and implied she was the one at fault.

‘He would always put it back on me that I was the one with the issue, that what he was doing was perfectly normal, that anything that you do within the realms of a married relationship, as long as it’s consensual, is fine,’ she told the Daily Mail.

Bonnie was married to Evonitz from 1988 to 1996 but she had since remarried and had children with her second husband when Chamberlain was kidnapped

Silva was abducted and killed when Bonnie and Evonitz were still living together

Nothing, she said, suggested he might be preying on young girls.

But on September 9, 1996, when Gower was in San Diego visiting her brother, 16-year-old Sofia Silva vanished as she drank a soda on her front porch in Spotsylvania.

Her body was found five weeks later. She had been asphyxiated and signs of sexual assault were present.

Police threw resources at the investigation but had few leads.

Gower remembers coming home from her trip around the time this was all happening. Evonitz was late to pick her up and was ‘kind of disheveled’ and in a bad mood. The shower curtain and a rug were missing from the master bathroom.

He told her he had slipped, grabbed the shower curtain and fallen on the rug, so he threw them both away.

Gower had no reason not to believe him but their relationship had been deteriorating, and she was worried about Evonitz’s mood swings. Deciding he was not the man she wanted to start a family with, she left later in 1996 and embarked on a new life.

Evonitz went on to kill two more girls – the Lisk sisters – in Spotsylvania the following year.

Gower was 11 years old when she first met Evonitz, who was 20 at the time

They started dating when she was 14; they married in August 1988, just a month after she turned 17

When Gower found out about her ex-husband’s gruesome double life five years later, she struggled to process the information. She had panic attacks and anxiety but was also busy raising a young family and tried to compartmentalize her feelings.

At a therapist’s suggestion, she started writing down her thoughts. Over the years, these entries turned into a book about her experience living with Evonitz, and in 2024 she decided to look for a publisher. Her son and his wife were both influencers and suggested using social media to draw attention to her situation.

She posted a TikTok video as part of the Put a Finger Down challenge when people tell their stories and see if others can relate. It became a viral sensation and now has nearly 40 million views.

In the intervening years, Chamberlain had forged a career in law enforcement, before having a family and focusing her efforts on victim advocacy. She drew on her personal and professional experience in her own podcast and in documentaries about other unsolved crimes.

When people pointed out Gower’s video, Chamberlain was intrigued and quickly got in touch with her unusual message.

‘I was like, “what do you say?” I have a touch of the dark humor and was like, “this is an absurd situation so I’m just going to send a kind of absurd message,”‘ she explained.

Evonitz was in the Navy so the young couple moved around a lot, first to Portland, Maine, then to San Diego, California, before settling in Spotsylvania County, Virginia

It was the conversation starter that she hoped it would be, and Chamberlain explained her drive to find out if Evonitz was responsible for more killings.

While on the run, Evonitz spoke to his sister on the phone and told her he had committed ‘more crimes than he can remember.’

But he has only been linked conclusively to the three Spotsylvania murders and Chamberlain’s abduction in South Carolina.

She felt as though Gower could have crucial pieces of the puzzle, and the idea for The Serial Killer Connection was born.

‘It worked really beautifully,’ said Chamberlain, ‘because Bonnie has so much information from that time that tells her story, but also tells his story.’

The Serial Killer Connection weaves Chamberlain and Gower’s narratives into their investigations as they look into unsolved crimes that Evonitz could be responsible for – from Portland to Spotsylvania.

The series includes shocking revelations and witness testimony about Evonitz’s potential links to other high profile unsolved murders in all three of the places he and Gower lived.

Chamberlain hopes that the show will prompt law enforcement agencies to investigate potentially linked cases and get relevant evidence into national databases.

Chamberlain forged a career in law enforcement before having a family and focusing her efforts on victim advocacy

Chamberlain teamed up with Bonnie for The Serial Killer Connection, which premiered on Investigation Discovery last week

‘My big goal is that we can find out what those cases are and I think that I will be fighting that fight for the rest of my life,’ she said.

And she thinks the unique connection that she and Bonnie share is bringing these cold cases to a wider audience.

‘When have you ever seen a family member of an offender and a victim come together and work together for a united cause? I just don’t think it’s something that’s been done,’ she said.