Stop Romanticising Trauma: What TV Dramas Get Wrong About Mental Health

“Why don’t you ask your brother to go for therapy?” she asked, but was reassured that the individual in question did not need it. He had got divorced recently and had started spending an inordinate amount of time in the gym, which worried his brother. But of course, going for therapy was out of the question.

She remained quiet and did not push the issue, although from what she was told, the individual in question badly needed it. The stigma attached to “shrinks” (as they are popularly called) acts as a massive deterrent, and even educated and so-called enlightened families avoid it like the plague.

The play Dar-e-Nijaat, where the female protagonist ends up marrying Abu Bakar (Sheharyar Munawar) on the rebound after her boyfriend marries someone else, stirred quite a debate on social media. It was argued and endlessly debated that Zaryab (Durr-e-Fishan) needed to be rescued from herself and badly needed therapy, rather than marrying someone else, when she still had not recovered from the trauma of a previous failed relationship.

It is high time plays stopped showing marriage as the panacea for all mental and psychological problems; a failed relationship needs time to recover from, and walking into another one is not the solution. In fact, entering another relationship while still nursing an obsession with your former lover is, quite possibly, the worst thing that an individual can do.

It is often said that women are not rehabilitation centres for badly raised men, but the same applies to men also. Zaryab, the female central character, is crying out for help, but what is surprising is that despite hailing from an influential and educated family, nobody thinks of taking her for therapy and instead allows her to jump into another relationship with an individual whom they feel will magically cure her. A dysfunctional and psychologically disturbed individual entering a marital union is a sure-shot recipe for disaster, for it places an inordinate amount of pressure on the other person, who then has to shoulder the full responsibility of making the union work.

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Religion cannot be a substitute for seeking professional help in case of psychological or mental health issues; both can supplement each other, but one cannot replace the other

This play could have seized the opportunity to talk about the benefits of seeking psychological help; a number of people feel that seeking solace in religion is a cure for depression and anxiety and, rather than seeking medical help, start devoting more time to religion. A shattered and broken mind and spirit need time to heal and require medical intervention along with love, care, and familial support. Religion cannot be a substitute for seeking professional help in case of psychological or mental health issues; both can supplement each other, but one cannot replace the other.

The anecdote narrated in the first paragraph reflects the typical mindset of the majority in our society; therapy is considered a last resort and often taken extremely discreetly, as though it is something to be ashamed of. Changing mindsets is a gargantuan task and not one that happens overnight; however, the visual media can play a key role by educating people and raising awareness about the importance of medication and therapy. Plays like Dar-e-Nijaat can emphasise the importance of both religious and medical intervention, which should and will contribute significantly towards removing the stigma around seeking support for mental health.

Mental and physical health have a symbiotic relationship; that is, they feed off each other. Both need considerable work, and while people are overly concerned with their physical fitness for mostly aesthetic reasons, poor mental health is a cause for serious concern also. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude and practising empathy, along with yoga and meditation, can greatly boost mental and psychological well-being and act as major de-stressors!

Valuing time and nurturing relationships, along with thinking positively, are all medically proven ways to put life into your years and boost your mental health. Instead of counting the years, make each and every moment count and, most importantly, value people, friendships, and relationships while you still can, for not everybody has that luxury.

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Regretting and regurgitating your past is a sure-shot recipe for disaster, so live in the present and plan for the future. Cherish and treasure all your associations, for life is extremely short and very unpredictable, so keep watering, cultivating, and nurturing them, like a gardener tending to the plants in his garden. As you water your optimism, nourish it with the soil of gratitude and compassion, and finally, reap the fruit and sit in the shade of this ginormous tree, sheltering and protecting you from the storms of life!

The writer is an educationist and can be reached at gaiteeara@hotmail.com. She blogs at http://sanukeycom.wordpress.com