5 Fights Batman Definitely Should Not Have Won, Even With Prep Time

Skip to content Batman is known the world over as the most hyper-competent person to ever dress like a bat. He’s trained day and night for years to reach world-class status in everything that he does. He might not be the best in the world at everything, but he is ranked top ten in practically every skill he has, which is terrifying on about every level. On top of his already incredible fighting skills and endless arsenal of weapons, Batman is famous for his contingency plans. He’s the man who thinks of every possible situation and thing that could go wrong, and has prepared a countermeasure for all of them. Of course, as great as Batman is at what he does, even he has limits. Everyone knows that there are some matchups that Batman should simply never win.

However, the problem with that is that he is the most popular hero in DC, and DC loves to put him in impossible situations and watch him come out on top. For the most part, that’s fine, but it can definitely be too much. Today, we’re looking at five fights that Batman definitely should not have won, and examining exactly why the Dark Knight should normally stand no chance against these foes. Often, it’s more than one person, too. So, without further ado, let’s dive right into debunking DC’s worst moments of Batman plot armor.

Batman is the head of the Bat-Family, having brought together a group of heroes inspired by and trained by him to battle together to save Gotham City. It’s one of the best, most underutilized aspects of Batman’s character, and every member has their own lore, stories, and fandom. That’s exactly what made Batman’s fight against all of them in “Gotham War” so darn aggravating. “Gotham War” is genuinely one of the worst Batman comics ever made, sporting a plot that wouldn’t make sense if the characters were blind drunk, let alone aware of their surroundings. Batman, falling under Zur-En-Arrh’s influence, fought the entire Bat-Family at once, and with only minor assistance from Damian, proceeded to kick all of their butts.

Everyone in the Bat-Family is around as skilled as Batman, but the worst part is that this also included Nightwing and Cassandra Cain, two people who Batman has actively acknowledged can beat him. Dick has proved to be just as skilled as Bruce, and Batman has flat-out said that he cannot beat Cass in a fight. Yet he dropped Cass by shooting her in the chest with a grappling hook. You know, the same Batgirl who has run through a hail of gunfire without flinching. This story was a smorgasbord of everything wrong with modern Batman comics, and this unbeatable Batman who could take on seven of the world’s best fighters at once, two of whom are probably better than him, is absurd.

Speaking of fighters that outclass Batman, one of those premier few is Lady Shiva. She’s well-regarded as the world’s deadliest woman, and if she isn’t the best fighter in the world, she’s in contention for that role at the very least. If anything, she’s the frontrunner. She’s the person DC always uses to demonstrate the height of comic book fighting capabilities, only being beaten fairly a very, very small handful of times. Even Batman acknowledges her skills, having gone to train under her after his back was broken and healed to get back on his feet. All of this is to say that Shiva is the peak of fighting skills in DC, so while Batman might be able to beat her, it should be a very hard-won fight that he uses his wits and weapons to win, not just his fists.

Yet, in Batman/Superman (2003) #3, he did just that. The World’s Finest had been declared public enemies number one, and a score of villains leapt at their billion-dollar bounty. Gorilla Grod mind-controlled Lady Shiva to attack the Dark Knight, and he proceeded to down her in one hit. Even if she was being puppeted by the psychic gorilla, that’s just insulting. Shiva is DC’s number one person for showing off how dangerous hand-to-hand combat can get, and Batman shut her down without any struggle at all. The heroes battled more than their fair share of villains in this issue, so there was no time for a drawn-out fight, but still, this just felt asinine.

If you really want a look into how much this fight disrespected Shiva, check out this clip from the animated adaptation of the “Public Enemies” storyline. Somehow, this blink-and-you’ll-miss-it inclusion with none of Batman’s narration makes the fight even more insulting, and even quicker. It also puts into perspective how much the heroes were on the back foot, given Batman was just choked out by Solomon Grundy before this and proceeded to fight another dozen villains and heroes immediately after it.

3) Hulk Image Courtesy of DC Comics Yes, Batman’s insane victories aren’t just limited to his universe. In fact, he’s been winning battles he shouldn’t in companies he isn’t even in, which is just really funny when you think about it. This particular brawl went down in the pages of Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk, which pitted the Jade Giant against the Dark Knight. Now, as much as I want to, we shouldn’t write this match-up off immediately. After all, Batman has come up with plans to disable the entire Justice League, so he could probably conjure up some kind of countermeasure for the Hulk if he had to. However, this is easily the dumbest way it could have gone.

When it became clear that Batman couldn’t actually hurt the Hulk, he decided to blast him with enough knockout gas to down a hundred elephants. However, the Hulk was smart and held his breath. This is an interesting scenario, where Batman’s win condition was to force the Hulk to breathe. So, did Batman jump around or taunt the Hulk into screaming, playing on his well-known problem controlling his rage? No. He simply kicked the Hulk in the abdomen, and somehow that made him gasp. This is the laziest way for Batman to win, especially when there were a dozen other ways he could have done the Hulk in without brute force, which shouldn’t even make the Hulk flinch, much less go for air.

Keeping on with Batman decimating Marvel characters he definitely shouldn’t, let’s talk about the time he defeated Carnage in a one-on-one. Carnage is a villain that even Spider-Man fears, and for very good reason. This symbiote is a direct offspring of the Venom one, meaning that it carries far more raw strength than even its parent. Carnage is usually bonded to the bloodthirsty Cletus Kasady, who is insane enough to revel in every act of depravity imaginable. Carnage is enough of a threat that Spider-Man and Venom regularly need to team up to bring him down, but despite the ridiculous ways Carnage outclasses him, Batman beat the villain in Spider-Man and Batman.

Now, symbiotes have numerous exploitable weaknesses, such as high-pitched noises, which open all kinds of avenues for Batman to bring Carnage in, but he didn’t use any of them. Instead, he simply terrified Cletus so much that his symbiote fell apart, and the Dark Knight could beat him into unconsciousness. Not only is this not how symbiotes work, but this is Cletus Kasady. He’s as unhinged as the Joker, which this entire one-shot was based on. Cletus shouldn’t fall apart due to fear, no matter how scary Batman is. This was a total cop-out that didn’t need to happen, and only served to move the story along.

Batman is known for his contingencies, especially regarding his closest friends, but this is not like that, and out of all the fights Batman won when he should have definitely lost, this is the most egregious by far. This was set in that strange post-Crisis time period when Batman wasn’t a founding member of the League, meaning that it consisted of the Flash, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Green Lantern. Batman had not met any of these heroes prior to Batman Confidential #53, and yet, because they had something he needed, he simply walked into their base and the snot out of all of them without much effort.

This wasn’t a contingency plan, a misdirection, or anything like that. No, Batman just beat the entire Justice League on his own. Once again, a writer thought that an abdomen kick could overcome invulnerability, and he downed Wonder Woman with it, despite almost breaking his hand on her jaw. I guess tying up Hal’s wrist completely negates his ring, too. And I couldn’t begin to tell you what happened to Barry. He ran into a cloud of smoke, and the next time we saw him, he was on the ground. I don’t need to tear this fight apart, because describing it does that more than I could ever hope to. This is the ultimate example of Batman having unstoppable plot armor, and it will never not make me laugh.

At the end of the day, Batman is an opponent nobody would want to face, but he should not be winning every fight he’s in. Especially when he’s so outclassed. Who’s a hero that you think could beat Batman? Let us know in the comments below!