Breaking News: Portugal game in doubt as Ronaldo takes ball and goes home

Portugal’s Nations League match against Denmark has been thrown into doubt after Cristiano Ronaldo stropped, picked up the ball and went home.

The 41-year-old left the Portugal camp after reportedly learning he would not start the game, leaving teammates facing the logistical nightmare of staging an international football match without a ball.

Sources close to Portugal manager Jorge Jesus told reporters:

‘Obviously Cristiano is disappointed. But our immediate concern is whether Denmark have brought a ball of their own.

‘We’ve checked the equipment bag and there are a couple of bibs, some cones and one of those wee ladders you put on the ground and run through really fast, but no actual football.

‘We’ve tried ringing Cristiano’s mum, but apparently he’s already taken it into the house’.

UEFA officials remain hopeful the match can go ahead and have asked Denmark players to check the boots of their cars in case somebody brought a spare.

The dispute reportedly began when Ronaldo discovered that being Portugal’s all-time leading goalscorer did not legally require the manager to pick him for every match until his death.

‘Cristiano asked if he was starting and the manager said no.

‘There was a long silence, then Cristiano said, “Fine”.’

‘It was the sort of “fine” where everyone in the room immediately knew that absolutely nothing was fine.

‘He then picked up the ball, tucked it under his arm and walked out. We thought he was joking until he sent his agent back in for his coat’.

Ronaldo has since promised to reveal ‘the truth’ about his departure, prompting fears there may be more to the story than a grown man being told someone else was having a go.

Portugal supporters have been reassured that officials are doing everything possible to resolve the situation before kick-off.

‘We’ve offered Cristiano first pick when choosing teams, the captain’s armband and first go on penalties. We’ve even said he doesn’t have to go in nets during kickabouts.

‘We’re now just waiting for him to leave the Portugal WhatsApp group, post a Tommy Shelby meme about loyalty and change his Facebook profile picture to a lion’.

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