File photo of a worried woman
Dear GhanaWeb,
I’m a 36-year-old woman, and I was dating my pastor. He is a married man with four kids. His wife is abroad with two of the children, while the others are here but are in a boarding school.
We dated for almost two years. It started after he persistently tried to have his way with me. The day he managed to do it, he gave me some money and also said he loved me and actually wanted to have a relationship with me.
I am also a married woman with two children, a daughter who’s currently 12 and a son who is 9.
My husband and I are members of his church, but I don’t know what came over me. I agreed to date the pastor and was cheating on my husband.
I used to take my daughter to see him because it was the only way I could go and see him without my husband suspecting what was going on.
Normally, when we go and I have to do something, I would leave him to play with my daughter.
We weren’t just dating; I cooked and took care of him like I was his wife.
One day, my daughter started crying while we were going home. I probed and she told me that the pastor hurt her and that she saw blood and was in pain.
She explained that he’s been touching her when I leave, fingering her and eventually forcing his manhood into her.
I took my daughter to the hospital the same day, and they confirmed that she had been tampered with.
I was really hurt and angry. He was dating me, and I gave him sex, so I saw no reason why he would do that with my daughter.
I couldn’t make an issue and even get the police involved because of my affair with him. I didn’t want anything leading to secrets being revealed.
But I told him my mind, ended the relationship, and found a way to make us stop the church.
But my daughter always says that “Mummy, when pastor hurt me, you didn’t do anything.”
It’s something she says often, especially anytime someone hurts her or her brother, and they come to tell me. I’ve told her never to mention it to her father, but her comments get me worried.
How do I explain to her that she’s the reason we don’t even go to see the man of God anymore? From the look of things, I think my daughter will end up telling my husband about it, and I’m getting scared.
What should I do or say to her for my daughter to forget about it? I need your suggestions, please.
FG/AE
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