File photo of a worried woman
Dear GhanaWeb,
I’m writing with a heavy heart.
My husband and I are traditionally married. Before the marriage, he told me he didn’t want a court (civil) wedding. He gave me the option to accept or decline, and I agreed to go ahead with the traditional marriage, but at no point did we discuss polygamy.
It’s been less than a year since we got married, and now he said he is bringing in a second woman next month. I was shocked. I didn’t agree to it, and now he said, “You knew what you signed up for.”
But how does rejecting a court marriage automatically mean I accepted polygamy? If he had been honest and said he planned to marry multiple women, I would have made my decision with that in mind, but he never did.
Right now, I’m heavily pregnant, almost eight months gone. He said the other woman is also pregnant, and he is going ahead with marrying her next month. He expects me to prepare to welcome her.
He is actively making arrangements, buying items for the ceremony, and yet I’m sitting here feeling like I was tricked. I never signed up for this.
He is even suggesting that if I can’t live peacefully with the second wife, I should leave and raise the child on my own. I feel broken. Betrayed.
It doesn’t end there. I only found out after our marriage that he already has a child with another woman, his baby mama. That discovery was hard, but I forgave him. And now this?
I’ve just been crying. I feel emotionally shattered. I don’t know who to turn to.
Financially, I’m struggling. Despite my condition, he gives me less than GH₵500 a month, to cook, buy necessities, and go for hospital visits. Meanwhile, he clearly has the means, but now I see where his money goes.
I’m deeply unhappy. I never wanted a polygamous marriage, and I certainly don’t want to raise my child in such a situation.
What do I do?
FG/EB
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