File photo of a worried woman
Dear GhanaWeb,
My wife’s mother has been living with us for about ten months now.
She came last year when my wife gave birth to our second child. My wife works from home, and honestly, things aren’t that stressful anymore.
She can take care of the baby just fine, and the child is now over ten months old, so it’s nothing like the early days.
The agreement was for my mother-in-law to stay with us for just the first three months. But for some reason, she doesn’t seem to want to leave, and my wife isn’t saying anything either.
In fact, it feels like she doesn’t want her mother to leave, because anytime I bring it up, she gets angry and starts acting cold.
Her father is still alive, so I don’t understand why her mom doesn’t go back to stay with her husband. I genuinely don’t know what’s going on anymore.
My biggest issue is the daily allowance I have to give her. When she first arrived, I gave her GH₵50 every day, even though she eats all her meals at home, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
She only uses the money to buy small personal items. I also give my wife a separate monthly allowance.
I started with GH₵50 because I thought her stay would be short, and I wanted her to have some savings before she left. But after five months passed and there was still no sign of her leaving, I started skipping some days. Can you believe that if I don’t give her the money, she asks my wife to remind me, or sometimes even asks me directly?
Even though it annoys me, I find it hard to say “No” or tell her I don’t have money. One time, I said I was low on cash, and she replied that I could just double it the next day or make up for it at the end of the month. In other words, she expects the money daily, no matter what.
I even tried reducing it to GH₵30, but she looked me straight in the face and said that amount didn’t suit her.
I honestly don’t know what agreement my wife may have made with her mother, but I am tired. My finances are suffering, and I feel drained. I need her to leave.
This is a conversation my wife avoids completely. And when I ask my mother-in-law about leaving, she turns it around and asks if I’m already tired of her taking care of my children. Can you imagine?
I don’t know what to say or do to make her go. I don’t want to be disrespectful, after all, she is my mother-in-law, but I need help. What should I do?
FG/EB