{"id":151966,"date":"2024-02-15T15:49:11","date_gmt":"2024-02-15T15:49:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2024\/02\/15\/the-hidden-reason-its-so-hard-to-leave-a-toxic-relationship\/"},"modified":"2024-02-15T15:49:11","modified_gmt":"2024-02-15T15:49:11","slug":"the-hidden-reason-its-so-hard-to-leave-a-toxic-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2024\/02\/15\/the-hidden-reason-its-so-hard-to-leave-a-toxic-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"The hidden reason it\u2019s so hard to leave a toxic relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Dying alone can be a terrifying thought for many. But there are worse things in this world \u2014 like staying in a toxic relationship.<\/p>\n

Toxic relationships can suffocate you and leave you feeling both unloved and unvalued. So, why do we stay when we know we should leave?<\/p>\n

Gina Gomez is a coach who specializes in everything breakup and relationship-related. In an Instagram post, she goes over the real reason you can\u2019t get over your toxic relationship.<\/p>\n

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The Hidden Reason It\u2019s So Hard To Leave A Toxic Relationship<\/p>\n

Gomez writes, \u201cYou know the relationship is toxic. The daily chaos tears at your soul, damaging your self-worth.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite this, you stay and endure because being alone \u201cmeans questioning your worth in ways you\u2019ve been avoiding while keeping the focus on their drama.\u201d<\/p>\n

Understandably everyone wants to be loved in this lifetime. We want to feel special and feel like we are cared for. But a toxic relationship is just that \u2014 toxic. There is no love to be found only pain to be suffered.<\/p>\n

Though you know this, you can\u2019t bring yourself to leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeing\u00a0financially dependent\u00a0on your partner can leave you feeling as if there\u2019s no escape,\u201d writes\u00a0licensed counselor Helen Nieves. You may believe that if you leave, you\u2019ll never make it alone, and for some that\u2019s the real reason they stay.<\/p>\n

For others, they believe they\u2019re unloveable. Their partners convinced them that nobody would love their flaws and if they did leave, then they would truly be alone.<\/p>\n

Regardless we need to find a way to break away so we can put ourselves first. But how do we do it?<\/p>\n

\u201cStart by pretending you are giving a friend advice,\u201d suggests\u00a0licensed Counselor Charessa Chee. She writes, \u201cWe tend to be both more direct and more compassionate about our friends\u2019 situations than our own.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then question your partner\u2019s actions. Are they changing or willing to change? Do their actions align with their words? \u201cCan they have a conversation and work through things,\u201d writes Chee.<\/p>\n

After all this, ask yourself if this person is\u00a0good for you.\u00a0Chee explains, \u201cIs this person going to get me where I want to go? Am I able to be who I am and want to be with this person? Do we share the same values?\u201d<\/p>\n

Figuring out what\u2019s important to you can help you make the right decision.<\/p>\n

Staying Reinforces Your Belief That You Require Other\u2019s Love To Be Worthy<\/p>\n

This might sound a bit harsh, but if saying goodbye still feels like pulling teeth for you \u2014 this could be a sign that you\u2019re using someone else\u2019s love to measure your self-worth.<\/p>\n

If you aren\u2019t sure, ask yourself these questions. \u201cDo you try and get praise from others\u201d, advises\u00a0Licensed therapist Jennifer Litner. Do you jump from relationship to relationship or feel bad about saying no? Or are you indecisive and scared to be independent?<\/p>\n

If the answer checks out yes, then you tend to seek external validation.<\/p>\n

But as Gomez writes, \u201cRecognizing these insecurities is your ticket to freedom.\u201d<\/p>\n

Litner explains, \u201cA 2016 study suggests that\u00a0emotional validation\u00a0from mothers, especially in childhood, builds emotional awareness.\u201d<\/p>\n

But when we don\u2019t receive that love we end up struggling with many issues including:<\/p>\n