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We\u2019ve all heard the horror stories from all of the dates gone so wrong. We\u2019ve most likely experienced some of those horror stories ourselves.<\/p>\n
For example, being set up by friends who just \u201cknow\u201d the right person for you. Or sitting across the table just staring at each other, with not a lot to say. Or your\u00a0date \u201csuddenly\u201d gets a call and \u201chas\u201d to take off and apologize.<\/p>\n
Where do we learn dating tips that lead to successful relationships?\u00a0Our friends? Our family members? Our own experiences? If you are a \u201cconscious\u201d person who is always learning about yourself and making the appropriate and necessary changes along the way, that\u2019s great.<\/p>\n
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For the majority of people,\u00a0dating is a process of often really bad experiences. Did you ever wake up one day and ask yourself when did this person change for the worse? How could I not have seen the signs?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve discovered four ways to help avoid these horrible experiences. These concepts are not taught in school, so we often have to painfully learn as we go, at best. Marriage can work with the right knowledge.<\/p>\n
The divorce rate is so high because we don\u2019t know how to pick \u201cthe right one\u201d and we don\u2019t know how to have healthy relationships when we do find the right one. As if this is not bad enough, many if not most people divorce and then\u00a0repeat the same negative patterns\u00a0in the new relationship or marriage.<\/p>\n
Another reason for failed relationships is that often our self-esteem is not in place in a healthy, accurate manner. This is not a good thing. We attract about the same degree of self-esteem in the other person. So if realize that\u00a0you keep attracting unhealthy people, you need to take a look at how you see yourself inside.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Here are\u00a04 sentences every successful couple has memorized:<\/h2>\n1. Don\u2019t get into a relationship with an agenda<\/h3>\n
People often stay in a relationship because of an agenda. An agenda is a belief that something needs to be a certain way for us to be \u201cokay\u201d\u00a0For example: \u201cI must be married by 30 years of age.\u201d<\/p>\n
When we have an agenda, it will often get in the way of the more beneficial decisions we would normally make.<\/p>\n
2. Open your eyes and be willing to see red flags<\/h3>\n
I cannot tell you the number of people who have told me that they never saw the unhealthy qualities in marriage or relationships until way down the line. We are talking sometimes years. They often report that the behavior \u201cjust showed up one day, out of the blue.\u201d<\/p>\n
The truth is that the behavior was there all the time but was ignored. \u201cLove is blind\u201d is not a helpful mantra when it\u00a0conceals warning signs.<\/p>\n
3. Read up on things you can expect in relationships<\/h3>\n
Learn the concepts and skills that will help you navigate through a relationship \u2014 and life in general. For example: How do\u00a0you have difficult conversations\u00a0in a relationship? How do you determine healthy\u00a0and unhealthy behaviors?<\/p>\n
Without knowledge of these skills and concepts, it can feel like navigating in the dark, not knowing what you are bumping into.<\/p>\n
4. Give your partner\u00a0time to show their true qualities<\/h3>\n
Watch out for consistent behaviors for at least 6 months. It is very difficult to hide your true qualities for more than 6 months\u00a0without being a sociopath\u00a0\u2014 and for sure, no longer than one year. And you would have to be a skilled sociopath on top of that for those unhealthy qualities to remain \u201chidden.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nhttps:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed\/v2\/6933685348191063301?lang=en-US&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.yourtango.com%2Flove%2Fsentences-every-successful-couple-has-memorized<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Watch for consistent behavior in the relationship. This holds for negative as well as positive behaviors. There may be an underlying reason for a person to temporarily exhibit negative qualities.<\/p>\n
We all make mistakes but there is a difference between occasional \u201cmistakes\u201d and an overall theme of repeated negative behavior. Conversely, occasional \u201cgood\u201d behaviour does not negate an overall theme of unhealthy behavior.<\/p>\n
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