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<\/div>\nOne of the hardest things you will ever experience in life is a broken heart. You start a new relationship with so much hope and love. <\/p>\n
Yet, by the time it\u2019s over, that hope is on life support and you\u2019re curled up into a ball and crying your eyes out.<\/p>\n
Whether you initiated the breakup or were blindsided by your ex,\u00a0the feelings of grief and loss can be overwhelming. But you need to know that when your heart breaks, it breaks open to hold more love.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Here are 5 ways to heal your weary, broken heart.<\/p>\n
1. Take time to feel your feelings.<\/strong><\/p>\n Instead of trying to muscle through and act tough, allow yourself to feel all the icky feelings that come up. Guilt, shame, rage \u2014 allow these feelings to move through you. Book yourself some time to mourn and if you don\u2019t feel like it when the time comes, use music to inspire you to feel.<\/p>\n This is always temporary. Your feelings will not last. When you feel bad, you fear we\u2019ll never ever feel better. However, when you feel bliss, you\u2019re never delusional enough to think that it will last.<\/p>\n There\u2019s even nothing wrong with throwing yourself a pity party, as long as you remember to set an end time.<\/p>\n When you consciously choose to feel your feelings, instead of just wallowing in them, you bring attention to that part of you that\u2019s hurting. Give yourself a time limit and do nothing else while you\u2019re feeling and expressing.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t try to eat your feelings with ice cream and donuts. Don\u2019t try to rationalize or justify how you feel by going over in your mind what went wrong. Don\u2019t allow yourself to numb out into a funk and prolong the experience.<\/p>\n Schedule time in your calendar to just feel your feelings. Scream, cry, pound your pillow. You can even buy yourself a set of dishes from a thrift store and find a dumpster to break them in.<\/p>\n Whatever allows you to feel and express, that\u2019s what you want to do and do a lot of it.<\/p>\n 2. Practice compassion for yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n When you\u2019re in the process of getting over someone you once loved, you can get stuck when you judge yourself and blame yourself for the breakup. The truth is you were doing the best you could with the resources you had. If you had the ability to approach the situation differently you would have.<\/p>\n Have compassion for that younger version of you who was unable to prevent it, fix it, or make it better. Whether you could or should have done things differently is irrelevant at this point.<\/p>\n Accessing compassion releases judgment and there is no reason to judge what you did or did not do. There is no reverse in life, so you cannot go back to make a new choice.<\/p>\n Compassion allows you to be kind to yourself.<\/p>\n Find a place you love to sit \u2014 whether out in nature or in your home \u2014 and place your right hand on your heart center and cover it with your left. Close your eyes and breathe into your heart. Picture the younger version of you who \u201cscrewed things up\u201d.<\/p>\n Let them know you love them. Say out loud, \u201cI forgive myself for judging myself for \u2026\u201c<\/em>\u00a0and fill in the sentence with the mistakes that you made. Practice this as often as you like.<\/p>\n 3. Find gratitude for all that you have.<\/strong><\/p>\n Gratitude is probably the last thing you want to focus on when you\u2019re having a pity party, but shifting your mindset will give you the fuel to move on to better things. An attitude of gratitude allows you to receive more of what you want. When your heart is broken, it can be difficult to feel gratitude for anything in your life.<\/p>\n Start small. Look for things that are going well in your life and celebrate them.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re healthy, start with that. If you have a pet, be grateful for their unconditional love. If you have friends who are willing to listen to you complain about your ex, put them at the top of your list.<\/p>\n How you think about things is one of the most important tools you have for shifting your energy and your emotion.<\/p>\n Start a Gratitude Journal\u00a0and each night before bed write down five things you are grateful for. Then, read through the list in the morning before you get out of bed to start your day.<\/p>\n 4. Discover the golden nugget.<\/strong><\/p>\n Take this step when you\u2019re done grieving. If you\u2019re still feeling brokenhearted, go back to step one. Think of life as a giant game board and when you discover the golden nugget after a breakup, you move forward toward your beloved.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s how you do it: Write a letter of gratitude to your ex (we know that sounds a little kooky but stick with us here).<\/p>\n You see, everyone who shows up in your life gives you an opportunity to learn and grow.<\/p>\n Your ex showed up to teach you something \u2014 maybe to help you become a better communicator \u2014 to learn how to speak up for yourself or to how to become better at selecting the right kind of man for you. Discovering the \u201cwhy him?\u201d will ensure you don\u2019t lather, rinse, and repeat with the same kind of man who\u2019s not right for you again.<\/p>\n So take some time to write down\u00a0what your ex showed up to teach you, even if you\u2019re certain he wasn\u2019t consciously doing that. It might start off just free writing whatever comes to your mind.<\/p>\n Eventually, form it into a letter of gratitude \u2014 one that you will never send. Write out all the things you learned and discovered by being in a relationship with him. Make it as specific as possible and include anything you can think of.<\/p>\n Why did it have to be this particular person that you were with? What did this person teach you about yourself? What do you need to become better at in your future relationships?<\/p>\n Once you\u2019ve completed the letter set it aside for a few days. Then pull it out, read it aloud, and create a ritual by burning it.<\/p>\n When you do, say aloud, \u201cI release this for the highest good of all.\u201d If you don\u2019t have a fireplace or a safe place outside to burn it, a great spot is your kitchen sink.<\/p>\n 5. Release what no longer serves you.<\/strong><\/p>\n Now is the time to take an inventory of yourself and who you were in that relationship.<\/p>\n When you approach your relationships in this way, you learn new ways to date and to select a better partner. You\u2019re able to navigate conflict more confidently, express yourself more freely, and honor yourself by speaking up.<\/p>\n Learning how to heal a broken heart may be one of the toughest of growing pains that you\u2019ll experience but you can use the time to create a new relationship with yourself.<\/p>\n As you grow as a person, you\u2019ll attract a new kind of partner.<\/p>\n Rather than swearing off relationships for good (until you forgot you did that) and going out to find love by accident yet again, maybe it\u2019s time you found a new approach altogether \u2014 one that creates love on purpose.<\/p>\n Long-lasting love is a skill that you can learn because you are in charge of the selection process.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n\n