13. “I must stay because disappointing my family, especially my parents, is too scary. In my community, divorce is not that common. It’s still a taboo and something people do not wish to speak about. It does not connote freedom, liberty, or empowerment. In fact, people see it as a failure or something unfortunate. My parents paid for my entire wedding, which is how things are done in my community. They spent quite a lot. To make matters worse, everyone in my extended family loves my wife. Divorce will make me the weak link. It’s torture being married to someone who has high expectations, is a high achiever, and is gregarious. I should never have gotten married in the first place. Growing up was already exhausting, and I had to survive my nation’s tough education system. I just wanted to chill out after getting myself a decent job. However, due to societal expectations, I got married. I have so many regrets.”
“I’ve been married 18 years, and I experienced way more happiness before marriage than I have after. Even though I did not grow up with well-to-do parents, I did not experience the nagging, blaming, insulting, and put-downs I get from my overachieving, dynamic wife.Â
In my mind, I often replay the wonderful times when I was single and spent time playing with my adorable baby nephews. No, I do not reminisce about playing with my own baby children, although they were no less adorable, because those thoughts would include my wife. I never think of the happy times post-marriage because there have been so many arguments over these 18 years. I think I have been scolded by my wife (or had an argument with her) more in any single year of marriage than by my parents in the 32 years I lived with them. I often fantasize that my wife is out of my life. I dream of having my own place and living a minimalist, tasteful lifestyle.”
—Anonymous