Masturbating is sexual self-pleasing that involves some form of physical stimulation of the genitals. It usually involves fondling, caressing and stroking of the genitals which may or may not result in orgasm.
A student in one of our tertiary institutions called in to say he masturbated twice on a daily basis and was struggling to stop it. He is not alone. Masturbation is common and fast increasing in young men and women, workers and married even when they are married and have a good sex life.
The increasing rate of masturbation is global. For example, a study in the United States of America showed that more than half of American women ages 18-49 both single and with partners masturbate at least once every two months.
Again, a study in the United States of America showed that 74 per cent of American men and 48 per cent of American women between ages 14-17 masturbate, while among older adults, 63 per cent of men and 35 per cent of women between ages 57 and 64 masturbate.
Why masturbation?
The increasing corruption of morals promoted by the commercialisation of vice including profane songs and provocative dressing arouses curiosity to learn their sexual response and explore their sexuality. Women who can bring themselves to orgasm by masturbation are more likely to have orgasms with their partners. Men who masturbate for 10-15 minutes without ejaculation are less likely to have premature ejaculation
Some people masturbate because they have a high sexual drive, while their partners have a low sexual drive. Some use masturbation when their lovers are unavailable, sick, pregnant, disabled or lactating.
Some masturbate because they have repressed feelings caused by social barriers, feelings of isolation, dissatisfaction, inferiority complex, lack of affection and anxiety regarding guilt.
Effects of masturbation
Masturbation harms all areas of human life. Physically, maturation weakens the immune system and predisposes you to constipation disturbing functions of the blood, weakened pelvic muscles and sexual organs and may lead to erectile dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation. Studies also show masturbation predisposes you to lower back pain, headache, pain in the testes, weakness in the shoulders, legs and headaches.
Mentally, masturbation harms the mind. It leads to depression, confusion, lack of motivation, distraction from work and studies and unsatisfied sex with a partner. Some worry masturbation conflicts with religious and cultural beliefs and experience feelings of guilt.
For example, in a study in Sexual Medicine involving 430 men, 84 per cent reported feeling a sense of guilt. Masturbation, therefore, harms your responsibilities in life and your relationship with your partner and others.
Spiritually, masturbation is a grave sin and abuse of the body. This is because natural sexual urge is directed to a partner of the opposite sex and seeks satisfaction only in such a loving encounter.
You may become addicted to masturbation and carry it into marriage. Some can’t enjoy sex with their partners without first masturbating. Some lose self-control, commitment and interest in marital sex. This makes a woman feel unhappy and inadequate. You can’t have a fulfilling marriage because you are more likely to fall into other sexual sins. People who masturbate have guilt which predisposes them to emotional, mental and social disorders.
Say no to masturbation
Masturbation is wrong. Therefore, if you are masturbating, accept today that it is wrong because it is extremely dangerous with serious physical, mental and spiritual consequences. You pervert your body when you use it for immoral purposes. You can’t separate values and roles. The temporal relief you can get from masturbation can’t compare with the deep and total emotional satisfaction you could lose for a lifetime. A temporal solution could be a lifetime problem.
Appreciate that sexual restraint is not harmful and that a chaste life does not hinder you in your personal development. The good news is that maturity has its way of releasing stress. Men discharge seminal fluid in wet dreams. Menstrual flow in women expels eggs and cleanses the womb. On your part, vigorous exercise is the best to release physical and emotional tension.
Please make every effort to stop masturbating because it could kill you and your marriage. Sexual sin, like any other sin, can be conquered. Be self-disciplined and live a life of prayer.
Nothing will happen to you except what you put on your mind. Therefore, avoid negative thoughts and daydreams of pictures and conversations relating to sex. Seek counselling if necessary. Love your body and honour God with it because your body is the temple. Guide and care for it. Prepare it for the beautiful institution of marriage. He has instituted for you to reap amazing benefits.
Any genital love must be an act of expressing love for one another and being open to creating life. Masturbation fails on both scores. You must, therefore, say no to masturbation because it is wrong. No wrong can be pursued even for good ends.
