Ed Sheeran says he \u201cdidn\u2019t want to live any more\u201d after the deaths of his friends SBTV founder Jamal Edwards and cricketer Shane Warne in 2022.<\/p>\n
Speaking to Rolling Stone magazine, the star said he had dealt with depression \u201cthroughout my life\u201d and felt the feelings resurface last year.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re under the waves drowning. You\u2019re just sort of in this thing. And you can\u2019t get out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He worried his thoughts were \u201cselfish\u201d, given that he is a parent to two girls.<\/p>\n
\u201cEspecially as a father, I feel really embarrassed about it,\u201d the 32-year-old said.<\/p>\n
Sheeran credited his wife, Cherry Seaborn, with encouraging him to seek help.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo one really talks about their feelings where I come from,\u201d he said. \u201cPeople think it\u2019s weird getting a therapist in England.\u2026 I think it\u2019s very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting.<\/p>\n
\u201cObviously, like, I\u2019ve lived a very privileged life. So my friends would always look at me like, \u2018Oh, it\u2019s not that bad.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cThe help isn\u2019t a button that is pressed, where you\u2019re automatically OK,\u201d he continued. \u201cIt is something that will always be there and just has to be managed.\u201d<\/p>\n Edwards, who gave Sheeran his first big break, died suddenly from a heart attack in February 2022 after taking cocaine and drinking alcohol,\u00a0a coroner concluded.<\/p>\n Sheeran said the tragedy convinced him to kick a drug habit he had developed in his 20s.<\/p>\n \u201cI remember just being at a festival and being like, \u2018Well, if all of my friends do it, it can\u2019t be that bad,’\u201d he said. \u201cAnd then it just turns into a habit that you do once a week and then once a day and then, like, twice a day and then, like, without booze. It just became bad vibes.<\/p>\n \u201cI would never, ever, ever touch anything again, because that\u2019s how Jamal died,\u201d he added. \u201cAnd that\u2019s just disrespectful to his memory to even, like, go near.\u201d<\/p>\n Shortly after Edwards\u2019 death, Sheeran\u2019s wife was diagnosed with a tumour which could not be operated on until after she had given birth to their second daughter, Jupiter.<\/p>\n \u201cYou feel so powerless,\u201d Sheeran recalled. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing you can do about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Seaborn ultimately carried the baby to term and had successful surgery in June 2022, the morning that Sheeran headlined Wembley Stadium, Rolling Stone said.<\/p>\n The emotional toll of those events can be seen in a trailer for Sheeran\u2019s forthcoming Disney+ documentary, The Sum Of It All.<\/p>\n In one scene, the star is pictured crying on stage, as he grapples with Edwards\u2019 death and Seaborn\u2019s health condition, while simultaneously facing a\u00a0lengthy copyright trial.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve never seen him cry on stage,\u201d Seaborn observes in the clip. \u201cHe hasn\u2019t had the time to process and be at peace with his thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"Jamal](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/_126794205_edjamal.jpg\" "\\"Ed")
![\"Ed](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/_128811830_ed-sheeran-cherry-seaborn-t-1.jpg\" "\\"Ed")