![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/relationship_1280x959-696x521.jpg\" "\\"relationsip\\"\/")
Dear Coleen<\/h3>\n
I\u2019m a 28-year-old woman and I\u2019ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years after meeting during our first year at university.<\/p>\n
We had a daughter four years ago, which wasn\u2019t planned, but we both adore her.<\/p>\n
My problem is, while I\u2019ve matured and take parenting and family life really seriously, he seems to have gone the other way and has been reliving his teenage years.<\/p>\n
Now life is opening up again following the lockdowns, he\u2019s at the pub a lot with his mates or stays late at work. Meaning I\u2019m doing most of the childcare, while he gets to do all the fun stuff like playing with her and reading bedtime stories.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I feel bad complaining because I do really love him and I know he loves us, but I just wish he\u2019d grow up a bit and take on more responsibility at home.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m worried our relationship is sliding into an unhealthy place and he\u2019s just not present enough.<\/p>\n
I can feel myself getting angry with him, which has never happened before.<\/p>\n
How can I get him to see things from my point of view without causing a massive argument to blow up?<\/p>\n Just talk about it, but don\u2019t go into it thinking it\u2019s going to be an argument. Approach it calmly and make it a \u00addiscussion where you listen to each other.<\/p>\n Try to get him to appreciate that you\u2019re only 28 too, yet you\u2019re being expected to stay at home a lot while he\u2019s out with his mates or colleagues.<\/p>\n Compromise is the key to any healthy, long-term relationship \u2013 taking it in turns, supporting the other person and trying to find a balance that works for both of you.<\/p>\n Tackle it now and come up with a plan before it does slide into a place that\u2019s hard to get out of.<\/p>\n Just talk about it, but don\u2019t go into it thinking it\u2019s going to be an argument. Approach it calmly and make it a \u00addiscussion where you listen to each other.<\/p>\n Try to get him to appreciate that you\u2019re only 28 too, yet you\u2019re being expected to stay at home a lot while he\u2019s out with his mates or colleagues.<\/p>\n Compromise is the key to any healthy, long-term relationship \u2013 taking it in turns, supporting the other person and trying to find a balance that works for both of you.<\/p>\n Tackle it now and come up with a plan before it does slide into a place that\u2019s hard to get out of.<\/p>\n At his age, he\u2019s going through all kinds of hormonal and sexual changes, discovering who he is and experimenting.<\/p>\n He might be doing it for fun, comfort or sexual reasons, and he might lose interest in cross-dressing or it may become a lifelong thing.<\/p>\n If you want to support him, I think the most important thing is to emphasise that it\u2019s a form of expression and not something he has to resist, feel guilty about or overcome.<\/p>\n Generally, people who cross dress don\u2019t see themselves as a different gender to the one they were assigned at birth.<\/p>\n There\u2019s plenty of support and information available online \u2013 visit\u00a0beaumontsociety.org.uk<\/p>\n My son is desperately fighting for the right to see his seven-year-old daughter after going through an acrimonious divorce.<\/p>\n He also suffered a brain injury a few years ago and has struggled emotionally ever since.<\/p>\n He attempted to end his life because his ex-wife won\u2019t allow him to see his daughter and his doctor put him on a course of anti-depressants.<\/p>\n What can he do when her solicitor, social services and Citizens Advice do not respond to his pleas and requests for help?<\/p>\n He has solicitor\u2019s fees of thousands of pounds to pay, so he\u2019s at the point where he can\u2019t afford legal advice anymore.<\/p>\n The court process for custody is going to take months.<\/p>\n I\u2019d be grateful for any advice.<\/p>\n Personally, I think the system for fathers is outdated and desperately needs looking into, and even when rights are granted there can be lots of restrictions put in place.<\/p>\n It\u2019s very sad and so damaging when someone uses a child to hurt an ex-partner, so if that\u2019s the case I really feel for your son and the rest of your family.<\/p>\n It sounds as if you\u2019re going down all the right channels. You don\u2019t say if Cafcass is involved, but you can find more information at\u00a0cafcass.gov.uk.<\/p>\n As a mum, I think the most important thing you can do is to support your son with his mental health and wellbeing, so he feels stronger and more able to cope with the process.<\/p>\n Antidepressants are a good short-term measure, but I think ongoing counselling is vital, so encourage him to speak to his GP about a referral or you can visit\u00a0bacp.co.uk\u00a0to find a private therapist in your area.<\/p>\n It\u2019s very hard to watch your son go through this, but try to take things one step at a time. In the meantime, keep everything for your granddaughter \u2013 cards, gifts and so on. Trust that at some point she will want to have a relationship with her father.<\/p>\n I\u2019d like to reply to the woman having revenge sex with other men in retaliation for her husband\u2019s cheating (Dear Coleen, Jan 25).<\/p>\n You make a fine pair and should stay together and work it out! Stop thinking about yourselves for a moment and think about your kids and what they need from their parents.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n![\"Coleen](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/1_JS255309428.jpg\")
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nColeen says<\/h3>\n
Coleen says<\/h3>\n
![\"One](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/0_Son-talking-to-mother-while-sitting-at-home.jpg\")
Dear Coleen<\/h3>\n
![\"Middle](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/0_Depressed-man.jpg\")
Coleen says<\/h3>\n