<\/p>\n
Hi Chris,<\/em><\/p>\n These last few weeks have been the oddest, I\u2019ve found myself wondering whether my husband is thinking of leaving me. He hasn\u2019t said anything definite, but lots of little things have made me puzzled and confused.<\/em><\/p>\n And then, suddenly, a few weeks ago, he started talking about what we should do at Christmas as if there was nothing wrong at all. So we organised everything just as normal, and I relaxed.<\/em><\/p>\n But now that our holidays are in progress, I\u2019m starting to feel uneasy again. So what\u2019s going on? Might he really be leaving?<\/em><\/p>\n Why was he so relaxed about Christmas? And is there anything I can do to put things right?<\/em><\/p>\n Crazy Christmas<\/em><\/p>\n Chris says, <\/strong><\/p>\n Hi Crazy Christmas!<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to completely spoil your holiday, but spouses often secretly plan to break-up once it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n Often they\u2019ve been seriously thinking about leaving for a while, but don\u2019t want to mess up the whole family\u2019s plans. Or maybe because they haven\u2019t quite made up their minds, and think a few days away from work just might put things right.<\/p>\n But more often than not, the holiday\u2019s the last straw. All those extra expenses. And the travel, overeating, drinking and entertaining adds to the tension. And so the decision\u2019s made.<\/p>\n So how can you tell whether your marriage is at risk? And is there anything you can do about it?<\/p>\n The clearest sign that something\u2019s wrong is that you\u2019re not really talking to each other anymore. Maybe just the practical stuff, like who\u2019s doing the school run. But there\u2019s no affection, poor eye contact, little or no intimacy, and lots of passive-aggressive criticism or sulking.<\/p>\n And no discussion of the real issues. In fact, your husband\u2019s probably carefully avoiding mentioning anything important.<\/p>\n If that\u2019s happening, the best way to start the repair work is just to be nice to him. Cut down on the drinking and socialising.<\/p>\n Do small chores together, smile and greet him nicely, give him simple compliments. And don\u2019t say a single unkind word, even if it feels like he\u2019s trying to wind you up. Gradually, the tension will begin to subside, and you can invite your husband to tell you all about what\u2019s worrying him.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t ambush him. Instead, ask him to suggest a good time to talk. Sometime you\u2019ll both be relaxed, well fed, and completely sober!<\/p>\n Avoid any hint of criticism, sarcasm, defensiveness, or anything even remotely dismissive. Listen hard, and try to see things from his point of view. Chances are you\u2019ll hear things you didn\u2019t expect. And if something really threatening comes up? Don\u2019t panic. Calmly suggest you discuss your problems with a counsellor.<\/p>\n But more likely than not, once you start talking together constructively again, you\u2019ll begin to draw back from the brink. But don\u2019t leave it too late. Or this may be your last holiday together.<\/p>\n All the best,<\/p>\n Chris<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Source: The Standard Media Kenya<\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hi Chris, These last few weeks have been the oddest, I\u2019ve found myself wondering whether my husband is thinking of leaving me. He hasn\u2019t said anything definite, but lots of little things have made me puzzled and confused. And then, suddenly, a few weeks ago, he started talking about what we should do at Christmas […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-913897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-headlines"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/913897","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=913897"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/913897\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=913897"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=913897"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=913897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}