<\/p>\n
Arriving early on a date is a promising, positive sign that most would appreciate in a partner.<\/p>\n
But when that date is happening in the bedroom at sex o\u2019clock, that\u2019s the last thing you want. Whether he finishes quickly on occasion (after, say, a long week apart) or does so Every. Single. Time, you\u2019re not a bad person for wanting to help him last longer in bed.<\/p>\n
To be fair, the average duration of penetrative sex is estimated to be in the range of three to six minutes, says Jessica OReilly, PhD, host of the\u00a0@SexWithDrJess Podcast. So, if your partner is in that range, they technically have a normal capacity for P-in-the-V sex. Still, if you (or both of you) aren\u2019t walking away satisfied, that\u2019s a problem. Luckily, it\u2019s one that can be addressed.<\/p>\n
Since you probably want to take care of this problem, like, now, I won\u2019t hold you up any longer. Here\u2019s exactly what you can do to help your guy last longer in bed, so you can both reach the finish line.<\/p>\n
Before having sex, make\u00a0masturbation\u00a0part of your foreplay. \u201cTell him you want him to watch you touch yourself, he will love it,\u201d says Emily Morse, PhD, host of the podcast Sex With Emily. Plus, it will help you get a head start and close the\u00a0orgasm gap\u00a0so that you\u2019re both on the same page once you\u2019re having sex.<\/p>\n
Cock rings go around the base of his penis, usually around the shaft, testicles, or both, OReilly says. They add pressure to the base of his penis, restricting blood flow. That can then delay his orgasm, helping him to last longer.<\/p>\n
Not to mention,\u00a0sex toys\u00a0are always a good idea.<\/p>\n
Have your guy pull out when things start to get intense for him, then squeeze the head of his penis, suggests sex therapist\u00a0Debra Laino\u00a0, who has a doctorate in human sexuality.<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t have to do it really hard, but just before he feels like he\u2019s going to come, take a pause, and firmly put pressure on the shaft of his penis with your thumb and forefinger. The squeezing can help delay ejaculation, so you two can keep at it longer.<\/p>\n
I know, I know: No one wants to use a condom, especially when you don\u2019t need to worry about STIs or unwanted pregnancy with a monogamous partner. <\/p>\n
But actually, in this case, you might: Condoms create an extra layer of separation between his penis and your vagina, so the fleshy sensation of penetration isn\u2019t quite as intense. <\/p>\n
This can delay his orgasm just long enough to help you get yours and you can always have him pull out and remove it at the last second before climax if you both so wish.<\/p>\n
Speaking of ditching condoms\u2026does the pull-out method work?<\/p>\n
Most guys know when they\u2019re about to orgasm (dear g-d, I hope so), so have yours\u00a0switch positions\u00a0when he feels like he\u2019s getting close, OReilly says.<\/p>\n
You might even be able to tell what\u2019s up and take charge: You can usually feel your partner\u2019s testicles tightening and lifting more significantly as he approaches orgasm, she says. <\/p>\n
When a man has an orgasm, he has two sets of contractions with each contraction an average of 0.8 seconds apart from the other, OReilly says.<\/p>\n
Moving at this pace, or faster, and with a predictable rhythm can cause him to orgasm, so slowing down or changing up the rhythm can potentially delay his release.<\/p>\n
You might have to experiment here to see what works best for your guy. (Morse suggests trying moves like\u00a0girl on top, which will help you control the pace.) Change things up a bit and talk about what he likes to reach a happy medium.<\/p>\n
No one says you have to go hard and fast the whole time, so put little stops and starts into the mix, Laino says. While having sex, have the man pull out and kiss a bit, essentially calming down the excitement, she says. This actually brings a much longer experience, which breeds deeper intimacy.<\/p>\n
Fun fact: These aren\u2019t just for you! Men can do pelvic-floor work, too, and it can make a big difference in the bedroom. One\u00a0Swedish study\u00a0published in 2014 found that men who did a few months of\u00a0pelvic-floor exercises\u00a0were able to improve their ability to control premature ejaculation. (To be clear, each of the men in the study suffered from lifelong PE issues.)<\/p>\n
Whether or not your guy deals with that, encourage him to do some daily exercises while he\u2019s sitting at his desk at work. (He basically just has to squeeze the muscles between his tailbone and genitals.) It could make a big difference, OReilly says. If nothing else, it can\u2019t hurt.<\/p>\n
Just because he finishes doesn\u2019t mean you have to, points out\u00a0Rachel Needle, PsyD, a sex therapist and licensed psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida. Laino agrees. Sex doesn\u2019t have to stop at an orgasm, she says.<\/p>\n
If the interplay keeps going, it is likely he will get another erection and last a little bit longer the second or third time.<\/p>\n
As for you? It\u2019s totally possible to score\u00a0multiple orgasms\u00a0in a single sesh now that you\u2019ve gotten him to last longer, might as well make that your next project\u2026<\/p>\n