<\/p>\n
Hayden Panettiere didn\u2019t know she was losing custody of her daughter.<\/p>\n
The 33-year-old actress \u2013 who has been candid about her struggles with addiction and depression \u2013 has opened up about losing custody of Kaya, now seven, after her daughter moved to Ukraine with Hayden\u2019s ex, Wladimir Klitschko.<\/p>\n
In a clip from \u201cRed Table Talk\u201d revealed by \u201cEntertainment Tonight\u201d, she said: \u201cShe was almost three, and it wasn\u2019t fully my decision. In fact, I didn\u2019t even know it was happening until she was already over there.\u201d<\/p>\n
The \u201cHeroes\u201d star explained that she realised she needed to focus on herself and the \u201cunselfish thing\u201d would be to focus on herself.<\/p>\n
She added: \u201cI was trying to tell myself that if I\u2019m not okay, if I\u2019m not good, then I cannot be the best mom to you.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was going through such a hard time that I knew the most unselfish thing I could do was to make that hard decision and just try to work on myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Panettiere \u2013 who would later spend eight months in rehab \u2013 previously addressed her battle with alcoholism after hitting her lowest point before Kaya moved to live with her father.<\/p>\n
She said: \u201cI would have the shakes when I woke up and could only function with sipping alcohol.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I wanted to be a good mom to her \u2013 and sometimes that means letting them go.\u201d<\/p>\n
While suffering with depression, Panettiere has made it clear while she \u201cnever had the feeling that I wanted to harm my child\u201d, she \u201cdidn\u2019t want to spend any time with her\u201d.<\/p>\n
Reflecting on her relationship with ex Klitschko \u2013 which ended for good in 2018 \u2013 she added: \u201cHe didn\u2019t want to be around me. I didn\u2019t want to be around me. But with the opiates and alcohol I was doing anything to make me feel happy for a moment. Then I\u2019d feel worse than I did before. I was in a cycle of self-destruction.\u201d<\/p>\n