<\/p>\n
When you think of moaning during sex, you might envision Meg Ryan\u2019s iconic\u00a0fake orgasm\u00a0in\u00a0When Harry Met Sally<\/em>. Maybe your mind immediately starts replaying your favorite scenes from\u00a0Bridgerton\u00a0<\/em>(you know\u00a0exactly which ones\u00a0I\u2019m talking about). Or maybe you think of the other night when you heard a certain high-pitched noise of bliss coming from your roommate\u2019s side of the wall and thought, \u201cWow. She\u2019s clearly having a good time.\u201d<\/p>\n Whether it\u2019s intentional or not,\u00a0moaning during sex\u00a0can be quite the power move. Even the slightest breathless moan or involuntary grunt can communicate (to you, your partner(s),\u00a0and\u00a0<\/em>any eavesdropping roommates) that things are going great between the sheets. As an added bonus, letting out those oohs and aahs can even enhance the sexual experience, according to a 2012\u00a0study<\/u> published by the\u00a0Journal of Social and Personal Relationships<\/em>.<\/p>\n However, fully unleashing those sounds of pleasure may be a little intimidating, especially if you\u2019re overthinking the way you \u201cshould\u201d sound. Sure, you want to embrace your sex noises and reap all the benefits of\u00a0making some noise\u00a0in bed, but not at the expense of sounding like you\u2019re, well, faking it over pastrami sandwiches at Katz\u2019s Deli.<\/p>\n Whether you\u2019re a naturally enthusiastic moaner who wants more guidance on how to use sex noises to maximize your sexual communication skills, or you\u2019re a more ~reserved~ lover in need of tips on how to let loose and turn up the volume, we\u2019ve asked some sexperts to weigh in on all your moaning-related questions.<\/p>\n Odds are, you\u2019re moaning because you\u2019re enjoying yourself, says\u00a0Gigi Engle,\u00a0LifeStyles\u00a0brand ambassador, certified sex coach, and author of\u00a0All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life<\/em>. \u201cIt\u2019s a natural, animalistic response on the most basic of levels,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen we\u2019re feeling pleasure, we start to lose control over our bodies. The somatic nervous system takes a back seat and we can\u2019t control the sounds that come out as a result.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s pretty much like we\u2019re all cats in heat, screeching our sexual desires out, explains\u00a0Kenneth Play<\/u>, an international sex educator and creator of the\u00a0Sex Hacker Pro<\/u>\u00a0course.<\/p>\n On the flip side though, you\u00a0might\u00a0<\/em>be moaning in an attempt to fake it. \u201cThere are times when people moan during sex to be performative as well,\u201d Engle continues. \u201cSometimes we over-exaggerate our noises in an attempt to sate the ego of a partner.\u201d<\/p>\n Audio cues are both an erotic and useful form of sexual communication, says sexologist\u00a0Jennifer Litner, PhD., founder of\u00a0Embrace Sexual Wellness<\/u>.\u201cMaking sexual sounds can be a way to connect to the experience. For example, if a person is moaning while saying \u2018Mmm I like that,\u2019 this directs their attention to their own experience of enjoyment, while also being a cue for their partner.\u201d<\/p>\n More often than not, moaning should serve as a green light. \u201cMoaning [usually] signifies that what your partner is doing feels good,\u201d says Engle. \u201cIf something feels good, make some noise to let them know they should keep doing that thing! Moaning is a good indicator that something is working and silence is a good indicator that it\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n Now, here\u2019s where it gets tricky: Not everyone is super comfortable letting out sounds that aren\u2019t familiar to them, so\u00a0communication\u00a0is key. Always check in with your partner to make sure that what you\u2019re doing feels good to them (whether they\u2019re moaning or not).<\/p>\n And don\u2019t assume that you have to wait until sex actually happens to start communicating.\u201cTo best understand one another, I recommend partners ask about sexual sounds in advance,\u201d Litner adds. She suggests asking something like, \u201cHow will I know if you\u2019re enjoying sex? What sounds will you make?\u201d Then your partner can let you know what to expect, maybe giving you a little preview of their sex-noise symphony or letting you know what kinds of\u00a0words\u00a0or sounds they usually use to convey pleasure.<\/p>\n There are a number of ways moaning can be used to make sex better. You could use it as an indicator to see what your partner does\/doesn\u2019t like, which will make you a better lover pretty much instantly.<\/p>\n \u201cTry to develop the skill to detect when your partner is faking [moaning] and when they are making authentic sounds of pleasure,\u201d suggests Play. Not only will this guide you when it comes to pleasing them, but it can also help your partner feel comfy opening up and letting their walls down.<\/p>\n Moaning is one of those primal responses that happen when you let go of your inhibitions and simply experience the moment. That, in itself, will make sex better for you which in turn, will probably turn your partner on even more.<\/p>\n \u201cMoaning is super sexy and it shows that it\u2019s a positive experience,\u201d says Engle. \u201cPeople want to feel like they\u2019re doing a good job in bed. It\u2019s highly erotic to hear confirmation.\u201d (Shout out to all my\u00a0words of affirmation\u00a0peeps out there who could basically orgasm just from hearing someone else\u2019s pleasure.)<\/p>\n Okay, so in addition to moaning being a natural response to pleasure for some folks, it can actually help you\u2014and your partner\u2014reach climax. \u201cAllowing your sounds to emanate freely can facilitate your body\u2019s overall response,\u201d explains\u00a0ASTROGLIDE<\/u>\u00a0resident sexologist,\u00a0Jess O\u2019Reilly<\/u>, PhD. \u201cWhen you muffle your sounds, you often stifle your breath. [And] breath aids in circulation, arousal, and orgasm,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Again, moaning isn\u2019t for everyone, but if you\u2019re actively stifling your moans, Dr. Jess says it\u2019s a good idea to evaluate why that is: \u201cDo you feel deserving of pleasure? Have you trained yourself to adjust your sounds to suit your partner\u2019s (or sociocultural) expectations related to your identity? Do you want to challenge these norms\/expectations?\u201d<\/p>\n If you realize you\u2019re holding your moans in, spend some time reflecting on the reason(s) behind it.<\/p>\n Getting into moaning is as simple as just deciding to do it. \u201cIf you want to moan, but it\u2019s not your thing\u2014just consciously moan when something feels good,\u201d says Engle. If you\u2019re feeling kinda weird about just jumping into moaning, Play has a fun suggestion to make the experience easier:<\/p>\n \u201cPlay a little game of primal play,\u201d he says. \u201cGet on all fours and pretend you are an animal (of your choice). Moan and grunt and roll over each other like lions in the Savannah.\u201d Sure it sounds kinda goofy, but it reactivates your primal instincts, gets your heart rate going, and acts as some fun foreplay.<\/p>\n That being said, Engle makes it clear that moaning is by no means necessary. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with making other noises,\u201d Engle says. Just communicate with your partner about when something feels good, and when something doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Pay attention to your partner\u2019s body language while they\u2019re moaning because different kinds of moans mean different things, explains Sofiya Alexandra, co-founder and co-host of the\u00a0Private Parts Unknown<\/u>\u00a0<\/em>podcast. \u201cWas the moan sharp and surprised? That could be pain or discomfort. Are the moans getting higher pitched and closer together? They might be close to coming,\u201d says Alexandra.<\/p>\n That being said, just straight-up asking your partner how they\u2019re feeling is your best bet when it comes to deciphering their noises (or lack thereof).<\/p>\n \u201cKeep in mind that different people make different sounds. Something may\u00a0sound<\/em>\u00a0like a bad moan, but that\u2019s just the way that person expresses pleasure,\u201d Engle notes. \u201cIf you\u2019re ever confused about a good moan or a bad moan, take a beat to ask if what you\u2019re doing feels good. You should never keep doing something that your partner isn\u2019t enjoying.\u201d<\/p>\n Communication is everything and the more familiar you become with your partner and their moans, the better you\u2019ll get at pleasuring them.<\/p>\n Again, Engle says the key is communication. \u201cDon\u2019t just say \u2018ouch\u2019 if something doesn\u2019t feel right,\u201d she says. \u201cTell your partner to do something else. For instance, \u2018Baby, can you move your mouth a little higher?\u2019 or \u2018Can you slow down a little bit? I like it slower.\u2019\u201d Don\u2019t be\u00a0afraid to ask for what you want. In some cases, if you don\u2019t ask, you might not receive.<\/p>\n Additionally, Alexandra adds that the first step might be simply paying attention to your\u00a0own<\/em>\u00a0moans as well as your partner\u2019s. Maybe you think you\u2019re obviously communicating pleasure, but after giving a listen, you might come to find your moans aren\u2019t as cut-and-dried. The next time you go at it, listen to what you\u2019re doing to see if it makes translating each other\u2019s noises a lil easier.<\/p>\n \u201cMoan as loudly or as softly as you want,\u201d says Engle. \u201cIf someone is rude to you about how loud you are, don\u2019t have sex with them. There are plenty of people out there who will appreciate it.\u201d There\u2019s no right or wrong way to sound, mmkay?<\/p>\n And if you want to up the volume of your moans without feeling like you\u2019re auditioning for the local theatre, Alexandra suggests \u201cleaning in\u201d to your breath with sound. \u201cEssentially, allow a little more sound to accompany each breath until it feels natural to make more and more noise with increased sensation,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n But again: You don\u2019t\u00a0have<\/em>\u00a0to moan so loud your neighbors\u00a0need noise-canceling headphones\u00a0if that\u2019s not your thing.<\/p>\n It\u2019s simple: Don\u2019t do it then. \u201cMoaning is not a requirement for good sex, so if you are not feeling it, skip it,\u201d says erotic educator and founder of\u00a0Organic Loven<\/u>, Taylor Sparks. If, however, your partner is a moaner and you\u2019re not a fan or it turns you off, it\u2019s a bit more complicated.<\/p>\n If this is the case, Alexandra suggests\u00a0blasting some music\u00a0or even consider some sensory play where you wear headphones or your partner uses a gag. Covering someone\u2019s mouth can be v hot during sex, so if your moaning other half is game to give it a try, this might be one of those sexy solutions that work for everyone.<\/p>\nWhy do people moan during sex?<\/h2>\n
What exactly does moaning mean in sexual situations?<\/h2>\n
How do I use moaning to make sex better?<\/h2>\n
Does moaning help you orgasm?<\/h2>\n
How do I become comfortable moaning?<\/h2>\n
How can I tell if my partner\u2019s moans are good or bad?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
How do I show my partner the difference between my moans?<\/h2>\n
Does the volume of moans really matter?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
What if I don\u2019t like moaning or don\u2019t feel comfortable moaning during sex?<\/h2>\n